


Kiss In The Rain

by MandaElRose



Category: Alexander Ludwig - Fandom, Josh Hutcherson - Fandom, Real Person Fiction, The Hunger Games (Movies)
Genre: Alexander Ludwig - Freeform, Big Gay Love Story, Complicated Relationships, First Experience, Gay, Gay Love, Gay Male Character, Gay Sex, High School, Homophobia, Hunger Games, Inspired by The Hunger Games, Josh Hutcherson - Freeform, Josh x Alex, Love, M/M, Male Homosexuality, Peeta x Cato, Real Time, Romance, Teenagers, Tragic Romance, Two Gay Boys, Violence, Young Peeta Mellark, gay relationship, real person fiction - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-30
Updated: 2014-10-13
Packaged: 2018-02-11 01:34:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 28,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2048250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MandaElRose/pseuds/MandaElRose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>16 year old Alexander Ludwig is taking his game back to school after the spring breaks came to an end. Back at school it's just how he expected: A mess. He hates school, he hates the bullies and he hates all the cool kids, excpet Josh Hutcherson. One day when Alex gets into another conflict with the bullies he and Josh meet for a closer conversation. __________________________________________________________<br/>Please leave reviews of the story, it's the only thing that keeps me going on, because If I know you enjoy the story and want to read more chapters I forsure appreciate it and will write more pages.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Yet Another Teenage Story

"Alex?." No response. - "Alex honey?" his mother called again.

Alexander was laying on his bed, he just listened to his favorite singer while he mentally prepared for school. He hated school, for him it was hell on earth and the most hated place.  
It were currently spring breaks and school would start tomorrow.

He quickly put out his earphones, noticing someone called his name, and paused the music player on his mobile phone. Alex just listened to _The Outsider_ and stopped after the second chorus and looked at the clock on his mobile phone: 7:03PM.

"Yeah?" Alex answered.  
Unhesitatingly his mother responsed "Dear, you know school continues tomorrow, have you already pack your school bag?"  
Alexander's mother couldn't have said something worse.  
"Ugh mom, I did, please don't remind me of this burning place alive, I try to relax my last hours in freedom." he hoaxed sarcastically.  
"Honey do you need anything, do you want to eat something special for dinner?" his mother asked.  
"No, thanks mom. I'm not hungry at all, I will go to bed soon." he answered.

While putting on his earphones again his mother muttered something, but he couldn't define it so he decided it wasn't important.  
Alexander loved his mother, she was always so warm and selfless, he knew he means the world to her so he always tried to avoid any kinds of conflicts with her. He is alone with his mother.  
Alex' dad left the family when he was still a little child, he was a drinker and cheated on his mother with a young girl from university where he worked as mentor.

Alex roled on his back, pinned his hands behind his head and looked to the room ceiling.  
He thought about texting Claire or Michael, his best friends, but he actually didn't see the sense in talking about how bad they feel about being in school tomorrow.  
He has known Claire for twelve years, when Alex was four years old they met on a playground and shared the same swing when they decided to be friends for ever, since then Claire is always there for Alexander to support him. Michael's passion is skateboarding, he is a very important person for Alex, since he could think back he was always there. They share the same interests, they have the same taste and they are always there for each other.

Alex already regretted he denied to eat something for dinner because his stomach was growling like hell. He thought about getting a few cookies but immediately rejected this idea thinking of how many he already ate today. This had to be enough for one sunday.  
Nonetheless he was very hungry so he went downstairs to get a green apple. He always liked those green apples way more than red ones, he loved the sweet sourness.  
As he was just about to go upstairs his mother saw him.  
"Dear shouldn't you sleep already? It's soon midnight. You should be fit for tomorrow, hun."  
"I know I'm sorry, I just couldn't fall asleep. After eating this apple I will go to bed, I swear" Alex answered. He took a bit of his apple while waiting for his mother's response.  
"OKay, but it's very late, please hurry, Alexander." his mother said in a dull tone. Alex could tell she was upset with him, but at the moment he didn't are. He still had to write his diary entry.

Back in his room he put off his clothes, including a black T-shirt, a grey sweater jacket and a pair of tight black jeans. After putting on another pair of boxers he only wears for sleep he let himself fall into the soft sheet while he admitted "Okay, maybe I'm indeed more tired than I thought."  
He ate the last bits of his apple and threw the rest into the trash can next to his bedside table.  
He would be sleeping shirtless tonight, It had been a very hot spring day so it is very warm in his room.  
Alex shoved his right hand under the mattress and took out a little black book. It said 'Alexander's Diary'. He opened it at the middle, he browsed a few pages back and finally found the empty page that followed the fully written side from yesterday.  
He took the pen that was laying on his night table and started writing.

_Dear Diary,_

_tomorrow it starts again._   
_I can already see it: Being forced to be in subjects with people that hate you even though you never did anything wrong to them._   
_I know I'm not popular and I only have two friends, but I'm okay with that. I've always been different. I never was one of those cool kids in school. I don't share their interests at all, they only care about football, drinking, smoking, sex, etc. They always stand together in strong feeling groups and mock and tease all the kids that don't belong their oh-so-cool attitude._   
_I don't know who or what made them officially cool, but that is probably not the question. I mean, I can't change it anyways but why can't they let me go, when I let them go._   
_I am bullied for two years or something now and just because of Natali. It all started when my ex-girlfriend told everyone rumors about that I was gay prelast year. The only reason she did that was because I didn't want to be with here anymore so I broke up with Natali. It just didn't feel right._   
_Since then I wasn't interested in any kind of love anymore, I know I broke up with her but she fucking hurt me. Til the end of high school I think people will never let me go, but I don't care about anyone on this goddamn place, especially not those cool kids. They all are egomaniacs and selfish jerks... well maybe except Joshua Hutcherson._   
_Indeed he is very popular and also belongs to the cool kids, but he is different. He is himself, he always is very polite, friendly and nice. In the end it's right, he's cool, but not the way the popular pupils would define it._   
_I poke once with him in the shower after sports. The others took all my towels away and I screamd for help. No one came but Josh, who asked me what was wrong. I told him and he gave me his towel. He said I shouldn't mind them and they could be real assholes sometimes.  
Then he left before I could thank him._

_Let's hope the best for tomorrow._

_Alexander Ludwig_

Then Alex put his diary back again under the mattress, cuddled into his cover and directly fell asleep.


	2. A Good Day?

It was 6:30AM when Alex woke up from the droning alarm sounding from his alarm clock. He was actually way too tired to stand up, but he knew he had to. Today the sun was high in the sky, but not for Alexander. He knew this would be an awful day, but he had to go through it. Nothing would help anyways.  
Something made Alexander sneeze three times in a row, which helped him to get up. He put off the cover and went to his wardrobe to grab his clothes so he could get dressed after having a shower.  
  
He put off his blue boxers, catched a soft towel and went towards the bathroom. He put his clothing on a chair in the room so that he could directly get it on after drying with the towel.  
Alex turned the faucet on and an ice-cold water stream landed on his bare body, which made him step back a bit but after a second the water went to comfortable-warm and he went with his whole body underneath. The soft, warm stream felt good on his skin and he leaned his head back and enjoyed the water. After a while he started shampooing his hair and body. He looked down at his stomach and noticed he earned a few abs but not to totally call it a sixpack, which would still take a while.  
  
When he came out of the shower the fresh, cold air hugged his body and Alex started to shiver a bit. The soft towel made him feel warmer and he rubbed his body quickly to catch up all the water drops and moisture from his skin.  
  
He headed to the chair with his clothing on it, put on another boxer shorts and striped a normal denim jeans over it. He dressed a white T-shirt and added a normal gray cardigan.  
He went out of the bathroom, closed the door and rushed downstairs. It was already 7:10AM, which got him by surprise, it meant he was atleast 30 mins in the shower. Way too long.  
Alex came across his mother "Alexander honey, don't you want to eat anyth-." Alex interrupted her "Sorry mom, I'm too late we will talk later. Bye Love you." He pecked her cheeck, quickly grabbed the lunch package from the table and ran outdoors.  
He ran 10 meters when he noticed something was missing. "Oh my god I forgot my backpack!!". Alex ran back to his house, his mother already waiting at the house door, holding his bag at shoulder height with a grin on her face.  
"Thanks mom, you're an angel!" he screamed, when he already catched his backpack and sprinted down the street.  
  
After five minutes he came to the busstop, quite exhausted, moaning and panting. Claire came over and greeted him.  
"Alexander is everything alright with you?" she couldn't stop laughing when she noticed Alex was literally gasping for two minutes now.  
"S-S-Sorry Claire f-for m-my panting, b-but I was super late and I had to do a five minute sprint. Anyways... how are you?"  
"I'm fine, well excluding the fact we're on our way too school." She rolled her eyes, while hugging him warmly. The friends didn't see each other for a week now, which was quite untypical for them.  
"True... but whatever... where is Michael?" Alex asked her.  
"He gets driven by his father, lucky guy!" Claire responsed, rolling here eyes once more.  
  
A second later the bus had already stopped by. Claire got in and Alexander followed her. He immediately caught a nice two-seat with his eyes in the middle of the bus. He quickly walked over to the seats and reserved them for him and Claire.  
"Smart boy!" Claire laughed, when she could see several evil eyes staring at them for taking the last seat. Alex couldn't help but smile too.  
He was sitting next the window and as always daydreaming, while laying his head on Claire's right shoulder. They passed many green trees, cars, strange and yawning people, grocery stores, etc. but then something caught Alex' attention. He straightened up his head and looked out of the window.  
It was Josh Hutcherson with his motorcycle who lapped over the bus.  
"So cool, I wish I had a machine like him" Alex admired while he pointed at Josh.  
"True, Ally." she looked at him with fantasizing eyes.  
  
 _Ally_ was Claire's special nickname for Alex which she sometimes used out of euphoria or because she liked to tease him.  
Alex rolled his eyes while smiling playful. It was obviously not his favorite name, but he somehow enjoyed being called Ally.  
  
Alex was just explaining the meaning of 'à la mode' to Claire, when the bus stopped so that they had to stand up from their seats and get out through the bus door.  
Alex quietly whispered into Claire's right ear "No bullies in sight, maybe we survive the first day without any bully attacks." He sighed and Claire said "Don't let them fucked up bullies destroy your life! Defend yourself! They need to know when to stop." Claire said.   
Alex loves her optimistic way to go through life but he knew it wouldn't help him to fight, it would make it even worse. He had to go with it until high school is over.  
  
 _Rrrrrriiiinnnngggg_  
It was time for their first subject, arts. Alex' favorite and best subject. In his free time he draws all the time. It's his favorite hobby. Basically Alexander is a really creative person, but it's hard for him to shine in a high school in Union in Kentucky, where he is everything else but loved and popular:  
He grabbed Claire's hand and they went inside the school, meeting Michael.  
"Ohh hey Alexander, missed ya mate, how are you?" Michael said hugging him manly.  
"Heyho Michey" Alex said "I missed you, too. I'm good, it's nice we finally see ya. How about you?" Michael smiled "Nice to hear that, mate. I'm good myself, too. I did skating a lot in the breaks."  
All three laughed out loud. It was something Michael always did when he had free time so it actually wasn't anything worth to mention, because they all know it's his passion.  
Finally Claire hugged him, too. Tightly, but not as long as she hugged Alex.  
"Let's go guys, I think we're all in the same arts class!" Alex cheered louder than he wanted. He was filled with euphoria, knowing that his best friends share his favorite subject with him.  
  
They went into the arts class, but it seemed like they were quite late. Only three seats were left empty. Two seats at the right side of the class in front of the windows and the third seat in the row in front of the window seats next to Josh Hutcherson.   
" _Josh? He sits alone in ARTS?? I guess that is the first time he sits alone and also ever went to arts class._ " Alex thought.  
For sure Claire sat down at the window seat on the right. Alexander just wanted to join her, when Michael bumped into him, passed his side and sat down next to Claire. He was laughing. Alex looked at him, his eyed filled with anger. Michaels funny face suddenly went to an apologizing dog look as he noticed how unamused Alex was. He hesitated sitting down next to Josh, because Alex wasn't sure if it would be okay with him.  
Then the teacher asked "Is there a problem? Mr. Ludwig why don't you just sit next to Mr. Hutcherson?" Alex nodded slightly.  
Michael wanted to say something to Alex, but he ignored his friend. He didn't understand why Michael did this shit.   
Alex went back a row in front of his friends and wanted to place himself next to Josh when - BAM - someone pulled Alex' chair behind him very quickly that he landed on his butt with a loud bang.  
"Ouch!" Alex screamed out of reflex and the half the class was laughing, Alex' face went on fire and he acted as if nothing happened. When he was then finally sitting on the chair he also turned around to see the chair-puller's face. For sure it was no one else than Jayden, the most idiotic cool kid playboy on the whole high school.  
"Idiot!!" Alex screamed, still outraged. Before he realized what he said it was already spoken. He knew that would cause trouble. Jayden looked at him with a super angry, revenge seeking expression. The class' teacher, Mrs. Lodée then also looked at Jayden with an outraged expression as well. "Mr. Jayden Hauwk! Out of my class, now. We will talk later." she shouted, waving him to the door to exit the room.  
  
When the situation calmed down, Alexander took a first glance at Josh. He slowly moved his head to the left when Alex noticed Josh was looking at him aswell.   
_"Does he look caring? Well, probably not."_ Alex thought. He was just about to move his face forwards again when he heard his seat neighbour uttering a sound.  
"Err - Hey Alexander!" Alex quickly moved his head to the left again " _Was he really talking to me?_ ".  
"Uhm hey Josh.." he somehow muttered, he was slightly excited. " _One of the cool kid talks to me? I thought the only way they connect with me is, when they start another bully attack._ " Alex starred straight at Josh for a couple of seconds when Josh broke the silence.  
"Is everything okay with you? That sounded achey." Josh asked friendly.  
Alex smiled awkardly "Yes I'm okay thanks."  
"But you're bleeding at your wrist?" Josh took Alex' hand to show him the bleeding point. Indeed, his left, soft hand was underlined with two big, long streams from a deep red color, coming out of the right side of his wrist. He then noticed the deep abrasion below the thumbnail, that also teared a little.  
"..Ouch, I-I didn't see t-that." Alexander wasn't the guy who enjoyed looking at blood. He took out a tissue to clean the wounded wrist and thumb very quickly. Luckily no blood was dropping anywhere.  
Josh grinned "...Can't you see blood?" He slightly laughed. _"How did he know that?"_ Alexander thought.  
"Well, you know ... well, yes it's not my favorite liquid." He admitted.  
"Oh you're right, there are better ones." Josh hoaxed. Moving his head now straight.  
Alex laughed too.

 _Rrrrrriiiinnnngggg_  
Arts class was over.  
"Today was extremely boring! We only discussed about material we need for the lessons and and who we have to give the money." Alexander said and moaned annoyed as he headed over to Claire outside of the class room.  
Then Josh came out of class too, who looked at Alex with such a tiny smile on his face that Alex couldn't tell if it was adressed to him or if Josh was lost in his thoughts.  
"You are right it was super frickin' boring but did you earn a new friend or something?" Claire asked cheerfully.  
"No I .. well ,noo I think it was just his typical small talk. It would have been weird if he had'nt said anything. Right?" Alex asked.  
Michael nodded, Claire smiled and looked to the lockers.  
"Oh and you, young man, you owe me a huge amount of excuses!!" Alex addressed Michael with a grave mouth, but his eyes could tell he wasn't completely serious.  
"I am super super super sorry, I didn't mean it badly, I just wanted to make a joke with you and... I don't know it was some stupid kind of joke."  
"It was indeed." Alexander responded and smiled.  
  
As soon as the three friends arrived the cafeteria Claire came to talk about what happened previously in the beginning of class.  
"Ally, are you okay with the incident with Jayden? Don't waste your time thinking of him, he's a jerk!"  
'Cause of the little conversation with Josh Alex totally forgot about that until now.  
"Oh shit  - I said Idiot! Damn, what shall I do now??"  
Michael took his place in front of Alex "Don't worry, Claire is right, it was probably no big deal, just already go to english class, we will be there in 2 minutes when it rings. Jayden is for sure sitting in the cafeteria, so I guess it's not the right place for you now."  
Alex nodded, turning around, but it was already too late.  
  
Jayden stood in front of Alex, with two other guys behind them.  
"Did you miss us, Alex baby?! We did so." Jayden announced.  
"I-I'm sorry Jayden I was very shocked when you -" Jayden interrupted Alex with putting his hand around his neck.  
"Let him fucking alone you bastards!!" Claire screamed. No response, neither success.  
The three bullies grabbed Alex and brought him to the trash can outside.  
"..I-Ah-It was a reflex, I'm sorr-" Alex got distracted from the tightening grip around his neck.  
Claire and Michael followed them, screaming and roaring.  
The doors opened and Alex directly starred to the huge cover of the trash can. He started to fidget and move with his arms and legs, but that brought Jayden even more fun.  
"Now I'm getting my revenge and you get your punishment!" He laughed and the other two guys, behind of Jayden did aswell.  
Naturally, there were all the cool kids who already waited outside to film the act and laugh about Alex.

  
 _3...2...1..._  
Alex landed in the huge trash can. His eyes got red and quickly covered with a waterish veil.  
"L-l-et me a-a-lone..." Alex sobbed. He couldn't hold the tears back and small water streams came down his cheeks.  
"Are you about to cry? You're so pathetic!!" a girl screamed from behind, which made Alex cover his face in his hands.  
"STOP IT!" an angry voice sounded through the space in front of the school. Alex put his face out of his hands. When he recognized it was Josh, who the voice belonged to he brushed the tears off from his face.  
Josh said something to Jayden, that no one could understood, but whatever it was, it was helpful. All the cool kids followed Jayden and his helpers inside.  
Claire and Michael stood there, paralyzed.  
"Is everything alright? Do you have aches? Are you okay??" Josh asked. In a way he sounded panicked.  
"W-well, Yeah... s-somehow, thanks so much!" Alex sobbed and he couldn't help but hug Josh. He needed someone that held him.  
"Can you walk by yourself?" Josh asked. Alexander nodded. They went inside to the stairs of the first corridor.  
Claire and Michael were right behind them.   
Inside Claire wrapped her arms around Alex and it felt like her tears were close aswell. "I'm so sorry, I don't know what to say, I hate them so much, we couldn't do anything." She shut her eyes, which made it was obvious that tears rolled down her cheeks.  
"It's okay Claire." Alex answered, he didn't want to make a huge scene out of this bullshit.  
Alexander sat next to Josh. Claire said she would go to the school office, where she could call Alex' mother to pick him up from school. Alex wanted her to say he had stomach aches.   
Michael went with Claire her as another witness.  
  
"Again thank you so much, I wouldn't have gotten out of this without your help, Josh." Alex said calming down at the same time.  
Josh put his arm on Alex' knee, shook it and put his hands back into the sidebags of his leather jacket.  
"It's okay, sometimes they just go way too far. To a point where I can't look away anymore. This was pure harassement."  
Alexander tried to smile, but he knew it would happen again and again, no matter whatever Josh would say.  
"You know, if you need my help. I'm always here for you!" Josh said, this time definitely smiling at Alex and Josh left after stroking his' back softly.  
" _Wow, Josh Hutcherson, one of the cool kids helped me? Not that I wouldn't trust him but it's still so strange. And the last thing... was he... was he flirting with me? No, god... Omg no. What am I thinking of. Sometimes my mind likes to go crazy._ " Alexander thought as Josh was gone.  
  
The secretary forced Michael to go back to lesson, but Claire was allowed to take care of Alex and brought him to his mother's car. Alexander was making sure he was looking pained, while softly touching his stomach.  
Claire hugged Alex to say goodbye and waved until the car drove out of the parking space.  
  
In the car Alex and his mother didn't talk a thing.  
When they arrived, his mother wanted to care for him and ask him about his mood, but Alex wasn't ready to talk yet, even though his mother didn't know anything about the bullying. Alex directly went into his room, shut the door and layed down on his bad to have a nap.  
  
He put off his trousers and cardigan, which smelled like old ugly fish.  
He went under the bedcover just in his boxers and T-shirt and tried to relax and reminded the whole day. He took a deep breath from his pillow, smelling the fresh daisies smell his mother uses for the laundry.  
  
Before he shut his eyes his thoughts were about Josh. "He saved me from this evil bullies. Never anyone before had the courage to do this. Somehow he made this awful day a good day."  
  
Alex finally closed his eyes and he fell to sleep with a smile on his face.

 


	3. Turning Point

Two weeks have passed since the incident with the trash can. Just how Alex predicted, the bullies didn't stop mocking and teasing him. Thus they never gave him a day off. One day it was more, one day less, but the bullies were always around him. Unfortuantely, Alexander was used to this, it was far from new to him. Words like _faggot_ , _fatherfucker_ , _gay bastard_ didn't itch him anymore. The thing that he hated the most was the fear and stress he had to deal with by knowing the cool kids could start another one of their super, funny acts every second.  
The breaks were the worst time for Alex. In lessons it was okay, when the pupils were surrouned by teachers in the classroom, even though most of them liked to ignore Alex' relationship to the bullies.  
  
Josh didn't run into Alex' way anymore, neither talk to him, neither look at him. Alex didn't know what caused Josh to actually blend him out. When Alexander tried to talk to Josh it ended just in the typical kind of small talk you do on streets when you see someone you know. As soon as Alex noticed Josh obviously wasn't interested in any kind of friendship he just ignored him as well.

The third school week had just started.  
Today was Tuesday in the middle of April. The nature was starting to bloom and shine in it's full glory. Colorful flowers varied from soft lavender to vibrant orange, fresh green grass sprouted out of the ground and juicy green leaves decorated the hazel brown trees.  
  
"Hey Alex" Claire expressed with a caring smile on her face while she hugged Alex. "Another day in hell", she laughed "How are you, everything alright?" she asked.  
"I'm fine" Alex replied dull. It was everything but fine, but caring small talk was the last thing he needed. "Where is Michael once again?" Alex asked, who couldn't keep his annoyed moan back.  
"No idea, he is probably coming soon, school starts in 5 minutes" Claire answered. "Let's hope he isn't ill."  
 _"Ugh, I bet my hand Michael is sick..."_ Alex thought. _"Sure thing I'm alone in history class."_ He rolled his eyes and made his was to the classroom.  
He left an inner moan when he remembered Josh was also in the history course.  
Claire was walkig next to Michael, who had geography class now.  
  
Just how Alex predicted Michael didn't appear to lesson. Alex was sitting lonely in the middle of the last row. _"Atleast I have a good view here"_ he thought.  
The teacher still didn't come to class after five minutes so Alexander decided to go behind to the windows.  
He stood in front of the window in the right corner and watched the wind breezing through the trees and playing with the leaves.  
Something ripped Alex out of his daydreams when he suddenly felt a burning pain in his back. He fell with his hands against the window and could just capture himself from falling on the ground with his left hand.  
Still in shock he quickly moved around to see what happened. There stood Jayden, who laughed and said "How you wanted it!".  
Jayden went back to his seat, still chuckling. As the teacher walked in, the whole class was laughing.  
Alex helped himself up from the ground when he noticed a little piece of paper that stuck to his back. He pulled it off and read its inscription: 'Kick me in the back, I fag deserve it.'  
Alex ripped it in three pieces, went to the trash and put it in. The teacher gave Alex a confused look, obviously not knowing what just happenedand, said dryly "Could you please sit down Mr. Ludwig."  
Without any respone Alex walked back to his seat and sat down. He focused on trying not to burst into tears, either because of the biting pain in his back and hands or 'cause of the great embarassment he felt; but as his thoughts went to Josh the waterish veil in his eyes disappeared. He felt anger. He sniffled once and went with his hand through his hair to fix the mess Jayden's kick caused.  
Alexander was lost in his thoughts.  
 _"Why the hell didn't he help me? I thought he wanted to stop these bullies, but he didn't do anything! Instead he was just sitting in the first row, looking at his hands, while I fell onto my knees and the whole class laughed at me. Why do I deserve this torture? What did I ever cause to make people go so mean on me? This school is full of idiots and egomaniacs. I can't understand Josh, I thought he was different, though he isn't better than the rest of those cool kids. Once more my mind played games with me, making me think Joshua Hucherson is a nice and fair guy, but no I was completely wrong! I'm so disappointed and desperate."  
_

In the very next moment Alex heard the loud school gong, announcing the probable most beautiful sound on earth, which means the lesson is over. Alex was directly ripped out of his thoughts and brought back to reality, which left him with a bewildered expression on his face.  
 _"What? The lesson is already over? Was I seriously lost in my thoughts about Josh Hutcherson the whole time? That's ridiculous!"_ Alex thought while he left the classroom and went down the stairs to meet Claire.  
He already saw her from far away. Her beautiful dark brown hair, that could turn into a soft, dark fox red depending on how the sun shined on her head. He forced himself to smile, but he felt his cheeks got wet as he headed down to Claire. He didn't know why they came and where they came from, but Claire seemed to notice it. Probably it was the warm and loving aura Claire spread out, causing Alex to make his inner emotions turn outwards.  
Claire quickly hugged him, while covering Alex' face with her hair, so no one could take a glance at him. She took him to the factory club room, which was always empty. Alex sat down on a table and Claire stood in front of him.  
"Ally what did they do this time? Oh gosh I hate them!!" her hands formed to fists. Her wrists became white.  
"Their typical mo-mockery" Alex sobbed. "I-I-I don't even know why I'm c-crying. Why do I deserve this, I never did anything to anyone."  
Claire hugged him very tight and caring.  
After Alex calmed down they loosened their arms. Both felt quite stiff as they were atleast hugging for ten minutes.  
"Do you feel better?" Claire asked carefully.  
"Somehow" Alex brushed the last tears away and laughed at Claire, thinking of the fact he was just actling like a little baby.  
"Sometimes it's just too much" were his last words as they left the factory room.  
  
They went down the corridor and downstairs to reach the cafeteria. From far they noticed white small sheets with black pencil sketches.  
Alex and Claire came closer to the mysterious white paper pieces. They looked clueless and interested in who would spread sketches allover the floor.  
The friends stopped for a moment. They Finally realized who these sketches belonged to.  
"Oh my ... A-Alex?" Claire stuttered but Alexander already left her side and rushed to his drawings and sketches, which formed a way to the boys toilet. Alex was collecting his drafts, his eyes painted red as he already knew what _they_ were planning.  
Alex cracked the door open and saw a few of the cool kids, already grinning and laughing.  
In the left corner, next to a toilet were Jayden, Zack and Cole, who laughed ridiculously. They ripped sheet by sheet from Alex' beloved sketchbook, which included his whole art from the last 2 years. He took it with him every day and when he felt lonely or bored he started drawing.  
"GIVE IT BACK TO ME YOU BULLIES!!!!" Alex screamed, running to get his sketchbook.  
"Oh you want it back lil baby? You better know how to swim!" when these words left Jayden's lips, he activated the toilet sink and let the book fall from his hands into the water.  
"NOOOOO!!!" Alex shouted, running to the toilet. Everyone around Alex laughed at him, teased him and made several videos and photos.  
Claire came in. She was paralyzed for a fraction of a moment to see Alexander, kneeling above the toilet, crying and snobbing, trying to catch the rest of his book out of the bubbling water.  
"You fucking devils! Get away from him NOW!" Claire yelled and pushed Jayden and his entourage of from the toilet room. The other people who stood around Alex followed them. Claire didn't think it would work, but they had probably already seen enough and they still had the videos and photos.  
  
Claire kneeled down to Alex, who covered his face in his hands. He let himself fall onto his right side and had a nervous breakdown. His best friend tried to save the last pieces of his sketch book, but at least three-quarters were destroyed.  
This time _they_ went way too far. Alex wasn't able to calm down and after the break was over and the next lessons began, they were still crouching in the toilet room. Fiveteen minutes past until Alex could talk without whimpering and gasping.  
  
"I can't stand this anymore, Claire. It's too much. They have never been so barbaric, brutal and reckless. I can't think. I will go home, I will tell my mom school was finished earlier today and that I feel sick." Alex rubbed his face, while Claire stroked his arm.  
"Ally I am so sorry what just happened. I don't know what to say. Those bullies exceeded every kind of limit without taking any regrets or consequences into consideration." she helped Alex up and went on "You are right, go home, rest and come back when you feel recovered. We need to think of a solution, I will think of a solution! They will pay for what they've done to you." Pure hate and anger filled Claire's eyes. "I will help you to call your mom." Then Alex' eyes widened.  
"No don't Claire! Please, don't. I will go home and walk by myself. I need to sort my thoughts and I don't want my mother to pick me up again. I don't want to overload her with grief and sorrow." he pointed out panicked.  
Claire nodded understanding.  
  
Before Alex started his way home, Claire brought him to the school doors. They hugged and she pecked his cheek.  
It took Alex about twentyfive minutes to reach his house.  
When his mother received him he told her the same he earlier said to Claire.  
He went upstairs into his room and closed the door. He knew he wouldn't attend at school for the rest of the week so he had to think of a good disease.  
Alex put off all his clothes except his briefs. He stroked his beautiful blonde hair and sat on his bed. He thought about writing a diary entry, but he wouldn't want to remember this awful day ever again.  
He layed on his bedcover, roled to the side, one hand next to his face, the other one below his head. It started to rain outside. The sound of the rain made him sleepy, Alex thought about taking a nap and in the end he came to the conclusion that it would only do him goods. Maybe it could help him to forget about this day after a long sleep.  
He closed his eyes and it took him only seconds to fall asleep.  
  
 _*Dingdong_ *  
  
 _*Dingdong_ *  
  
"Aaaaleeex?" He woke up from a familiar voice. "Alexander??" It was his mother.  
He straightened his upper body up while responding "Yes Mom? What's up?"  
"There's visit for you."  
 _"Visit? For me? Now?"_ Alex was starting to dress up when he determined it could only be this one person. _"Oh wait, it's Claire for sure."_ he thought.  
"Send her up!" Alex answered. He got no response but heard how someone came up the stairs.  
 _"Sounds quite heavy, maybe Claire got her backpack with. She must have came across my house on her way from school to her home."_ thouhtfully Alex looked to the door.  
He didn't see the need to put more clothes on instead of his briefs. He was anyway too lazy and at the end of the day it wasn't anything special for Claire and him to see each other naked. They had already viewed each other bare. Last year in summer when they went for a walk near his house at the forest, next to the park, they came across a beautiful river and decided to go swimming. They didn't have any swimwear or towels with them, so they decided to go swimming with nothing on. Between Alex and Claire were never any sexual feelings, their relationship is like brother and sister.  
  
Somebody knocked at Alex' room door. "Come In" Alex answered.  
The door opened slowly. First a single hand wrapped the door ledge. Alex immediately noticed this wasn't Claires. It was a very masculine hand. But was it Michaels? Alex thought so, even though he knew it was bigger than Mickey's hand.  
When the door opened by its full glory Josh stood in the door frame. Alex jaw slightly dropped and he raised his eyebrows. Quickly he put on his blanket so that only his bare chest was visible.  
"J-Josh? What are YOU doing here?!"  
"Hello Alex, well you know..." Josh muttered.  
Alex still couldn't realize Josh Hutcherson stood in his room, he was so angry when he saw him. Alex said nothing and waited for Josh to finish his sentence.  
"...I.. I wanted to ask how you feel? You know, what happened this morning in history class...and.." Alex interrupted Josh.  
"And what?! You didn't care what happened this morning so why do you care now? You didn't say a thing when they laughed at me! You promised you would help me out in the future" Alex explained, way more pissed off than he actually wanted to sound.  
"I know but... I'm so sorry ... I do care and I know what I said two weeks ago, I just couldn't. It's complicated" Josh tried to sound sincere but Alex only felt mucked around.  
"You are an asshole, you are just exactly like all the other cool-kids!!" Alexander shouted, he was outraged, letting all his wrath out at Josh!  
Josh gulped and he got a lump in his throat. "I-I'm not! I don't know how I can show it to you, but I do care about you! Why do you think would I be here if not?" Josh looked down to his feet. He sounded panicked as he finished his sentence.  
"I have no fucking idea why you came here, do you know what they did after history lesson?? They ripped off my sketchbook and threw it into the toilet! My drawings from about 2 years are damaged or completely destroyed!" Alex felt a tear coming down his cheek.  
Josh eyes widened, he raised his face and quickly moved over to Alex to sit next to him. "What did they do?!?!!"  
"Don't act like you don't know it! This bullying... I can't bear it anymore." Alexander sobbed. Josh raised his arm to stroke Alex' back. "Alex I didn't know that!! Really! I was at the doctor around that time, I left after history class this morning! I'm so sorry. If I only had been there when it happened..."  
Alex pulled his eyebrows together "You didn't know that? Seriously?"  
"Honestly, I didn't until now. Oh lord when I get Jayden into my fingers... he should prepare himself for a lesson!" Josh exclaimed. Alex was really surprised how guilty Josh sounded and how his eyes filled with rage.  
"Don't make use of violence! It's not worth it. You could get yourself into trouble, Josh."  
It was silent for a while.  
"Thank you for coming." Alex muttered, signaling this conversation has come to an end. Josh smiled at him.  
"Alex, will you go to school tomorrow?"  Josh asked friendly.  
"What?! No, never." Alex sank his head to his chest, not knowing when he would ever want to go back to this goddamn place.  
Josh went a little bit closer next to Alex and he put his arm around his shoulders. He smiled at him. "..And what If I pick you up with my motorcycle tomorrow that everyone sees that you belong to me?"  
Alex raised his eyebrows, he smiled widely and his eyes were filled with joy. "You would do that??" He asked.  
"Sure thing, thats at least what I owe you!" Josh admitted.  
"Thanks so so so much!!" Alex screamed and he stroked the back of his head. Suddenly, he felt uncomfortable and grabbed the shirt that was laying next to his bed and put it on. Josh looked at him interested.  
He stood up. "Okay so, see you tomorrow morning." Josh went to the door and before he closed it he glanced a last look at Alex, winking.  
  
Alex let himself fall onto his bed, he smiled.  
He then roled on left the side, shoved his hand under the mattress and put out his diary.  
  
  
 _Dear Diary,_  
  
 _what did just happen?_  
 _I thought this day would be the worst day in my entire life and nothing could cheer it up, but Josh Hutcherson did it again. This awful day became a good day._  
 _Am I at a turning point? Could the friendship with Josh really stop the bullying? I hope so, this would change my life._  
 _But there is one thing that itches me...did Josh actually stare at my body the whole time? And did I enjoy this? Do I like him?  
Well, sure I think he is a really nice guy, but I mean liking him in that way? __No ... or could I? ... Oh god what am I actually talking about? Since the thing with Natali I switched off everything that could belong together with my soft feelings, my feelings for love. I never felt so safe with Josh around me, but does that mean I'm interested in him as ... boyfriend?'  
  
No, I've never been in love with a guy or in a relation ship with one. Also could Josh be gay? Defnitive No! He's absolutely straight! I've seen he had several girlfriends._  
 _It's probably just that I'm super happy someone finally cares about me._  
 _I've got a new friend and it's Josh Hutcherson and he is driving me with his motorcycle to school tomorrow._  
  
 _Alexander_  
  
  
When Alexander looked at the clock it was already 9:30PM. He and Josh talked about more than a hour. He set the alarm clock and put his diary back under the mattress. Alex put off his briefs and then put on his night boxers and T-shirt.  
It was time to go to sleep. Alex e forgot about everthing. He didn't eat dinner, he didn't talk to his mother, he forgot to message Claire or Michael, not even knowing if Michael knew what happened today and if Claire told him.  
  
He just closed his eyes listened to his momentary favorite song Atlas by Coldplay and leaned back. He thought about himself, who he is, what he feels and how the day would be tomorrow.  
It didn't took him long until he fell asleep.

 


	4. Throwback Into The Past

He went downstairs to get a glass of water and maybe eat a midnight snack. He went to the fridge, took out a cool bottle of mineral water and poured the fresh liquid into the glass he took out of the clean dishwasher. His mother probably forgot to put the tableware out of the dishwasher and into the cupboard.  
He felt bad. He didn't talk a word to his mother today, he was the only person she still had. That he didn't talk to her must have been torture.  
She didn't deserve it but she doesn't understand him. He wasn't in the mood for this mother-son conversation when mothers try to sound and act super understanding. No, that wouldn't have helped him. His mom would've made it even worse, she doesn't know how hard it is to be him.  
...To be him. To be bullied. To not to know who he actually is.  
  
03:00AM. Alex looked to the kitchen clock and noticed it was very late, but he couldn't find sleep so he tried to disctract himself.  
Alex' brain was full of thoughts and possible scenarios about the upcoming school day. He couldn't figure out what made him feel that excited.  
Maybe it was because Josh would pick him up with his motorcycle tomorrow, though Alex couldn't name the reason.  
  
He raised his arm to take a first sip of his fresh cold water and shut his eyes when he felt his throat fill with moisture. He could feel the freezy liquid find its way down to his stomach, which feeling Alex loved.  
After he emptied his glass he looked around to find something eatable but when he only found an old banana and some dry bread slices he decided not to eat anything. His mother probably wanted to go to the supermarket to buy food and other groceries tomorrow.  
  
Instead, Alex went upstairs to take a hot bath in the bathrooom. When he arrived there he took his boxers and T-shirt off. He placed a soft, blue towel next to the bathtub and turned the faucet on. Right away a hot water stream followed into the huge tub.  
While waiting for the water to fill the bathtub he looked into the mirror and starred at his naked body. His skin was very pale and soft. Alex wasn't directly dissatisfied with his body shape but also not quite happy.  
 _"What would Josh's naked body look like?"_ he thought, directly discarding his thought. _"Stop, oh my god what am I thinking of?!"_  
The water was filled and Alex walked over to the tub. At first, he put his single toe into the water to test the temperature. "Ouhh" Alex startled while he noticed the water was hotter than he imagined. Slowly he put his whole foot into the water. It burned for about two seconds, but then it started to turn into this hot cold veil and then it finally felt cuddly warm. He then went into the water with his whole body.  
  
Alex laid for about twenty minutes in the hot water when he felt the tiredness and weakness come over his senses. With his last energy he got out of the tub and dried his body with the blue towel. He forgot to put his clothes back on when he headed back to his room.  
Meanwhile it was already 03:58AM. He let himself fall onto his bed and covered his naked body with the soft white blanket. It felt comfortably cool on his skin and moments later he was already sleeping.  


* * *

  
As usual his alarm clock was about to wake Alex up at 06:30AM. But it didn't. It was already 07:02 when Alex woke up and glanced at the clock.  
"Oh Shiit!!" he screamed. "Josh will be here in 8 minutes!". He quickly put on his grey trousers, a lightblue shirt and put a darkblue sweater jacket around his hips. 07:05. "Ughh quick my hair!" Alex sprinted to the bathroom. When he saw his own reflection in the mirror his jaw dropped in shock. His hair was abosolutely messy and mixed up.   
It seemed that he laid on his wet hair over night, which made it form to an annoying swirl. With a few touches and a little bit of hair wax he could made his hair atleast look bearable.  
He moaned loudly as he ran down the stairs to kiss his mom and get his lunch package. 07:09.  
"Hey mom, you look great today, thanks for the lunch package, I'm late, love ya!" Alex said as he grabbed the brown paper bag and ran out of the door. 07:10.  
  
There he stood. Josh. He was one year older than Alex. Josh was seventeen.  
He wore his black sunglasses, a red, loosely T-shirt, a black leather jacket with silver zippers, black tight denims and dark, brown boots. When Alexander saw him he smiled and his eyes shined.  
"Just as promised. I'm on time!" Josh said with a smile, putting of his sunnies. His wonderful hazel brown eyes starred at Alex.  
"Yes you're right. I'm glad you really came." He stroked his left arm, while walking to Josh.  
Alex wondered he didn't notice it before but now he did. The motorcycle was missing. "Uhm Josh? Where... well where's your machine?" Alex asked carefully. He saw Josh's embarassed look.  
"Well yea you know... the motor gave up this morning. I really had to hurry, atleast I thought we could walk to school and ... talk?" Josh responded.  
"Your motorcycle broke down and you made your way to my house nonetheless? Thanks Josh, means a lot." Alex smiled. Josh smiled too.  
"Let's go! High school starts soon, Alex!"  
  
They walked for a while without saying a word. Alex only enjoyed Josh's appearance, though he couldn't tell in what way.  
Josh broke the silence. "You know... I was thinking..." Alex eyes and ears widened. "...I won't support the cool kids and their bully attacks anymore. I mean... I never did but I will leave their group. I don't really have any true friends in there. There are only fakes."  
"That's great, Josh. But who will you now hang out with?" Alex looked curiously.  
Josh chuckled. "Yes, well, I still have my two friends Drake and Sam. They are true friends. Always sincere and honest. You know... I can count on them." Josh told.  
"Yes I feel you, I have the same connection with Claire and Michael." Alex said.  
"Alex, why do you actually live alone with your mom? You don't need to tell if you don't want to." Josh stroked his hair.  
Alex starred into his hands. "My father left us when I was little. He cheated on my mother and was a drniker. He beat her and me..." Alex muttured.  
"I'm so sorry for you, this must be awful, but for what it's worth I know how you feel" Josh stroked his hair and grabbed his hands into his pockets before he started to go on.  
"I've never seen my father. My mother got pregnant when she was twenty years old. They broke up and he went to China or something. That's at least what my mom told me once. I haven't seen her for three months as well. She only comes to visit me on my birthday or any other festival days. Sometimes she comes to visit me when she's taking a break from her job. She's a journalist and I barely see her." Josh gulped as he finished his sentence.  
Alex could feel Josh had tears in his eyes. "Josh I didn't know, oh my god I feel really sorry for you." Alex didn't know what to say, he was shocked and couldn't think clearly.  
Both stopped for a moment and Alex went for a hug. Josh accepted it thankfully. "But please don't spread to anyone. You're the only person I've ever told this."  
"Josh I would never tell anyone." Alex exclaimed while stroking Josh's back.  
They freed themselves from the hug. "C'mon, we need to hurry, we are already too late" Josh said with a playful look in his eyes.  
  
When Josh and Alex arrived at school it was totally silent. The first lesson had already started. Alex was lucky that he was having arts with Josh now and that they were seatmates.  
Josh knocked at the door and Mrs. Lodée opened it. "You're too late! But come in and sit down. It's not a big deal." she smiled and lead them in.  
Jayden watched Alex and Josh closely, wondering why they were both too late and came in together. He was outraged when he noticed the boys talked with each other.  
  
"Saw Jayden's face?" Josh whispered to Alex. Alex shook his head. "Too bad. It was priceless!" Josh laughed and Alex bite a little smile back.

During the school day there were no conflicts with the bullies, no insults and no mockery.  
Alex felt happy as never before. He wanted to have a talk to Claire and Michael to tell them what happened this day.  
When school was finished he saw Claire taking a sip out of the school's water cooler.  
  
"Eww, don't do that, Claire!" Alex tipped her shoulder. He watched out for Michael but Alex didn't find him which probably meant that Michael was still sick.  
"You mean drinking out of this thing?" Claire responded with a bewildered expression on her face.  
"Exactly! You know how many people left their germs on this?" Alex answered. Claire sarcastically rolled her eyes.  
"Well, if I see it _that_ way... you're right! But I'm thirsty and I didn't bring anything to drink today and those slushies in the cafeteria are just disgusting! What do you think shall I do?"  
"You know that I always bring some water to school! You could have just waited for me" Alex said, while taking out his water bottle and giving it to Claire.  
She looked thankfully and smiled. "Cheers." Alex laughed.  
Claire was taking a huge sip out of the bottle. Afterwards it was only quarter filled.  
"Wow guess you were really thirsty!" Alex exclaimed, making sure he took a long pronunce on the 'really'.  
"Indeed." Claire laughed. "So why were you too late this morning with Josh by your side. Is he your new friend?" She asked.  
Alex could tell she was really interested. He smiled thinking of Josh. "...I forgot to message you yesterday, well, Josh was at my house, he apologized and wanted to pick me up with his motorcycle this morning. Unfortunately the motor broke down but nevertheless he came to pick me up by foot. Then we had a really private conversation about and now I think I can call him my friend. The best thing actually is the bullies didn't mock me a single time today." Alex had to smile even more.  
"I'm so happy that you can finally smile! It sounds amazing. Josh seems to be a wonderful person. Why don't you tell me more about Josh, Ally?" Claire smiled while extremely pronouncing 'Josh. Alex wasn't quite aware of what she was trying to reach for but as soon as Claire had this mysterious smile on her lips, which in contrast he was aware of way too well, it made click in his head.  
Now Alex got it. Claire was digging for gold. He directly knew what Claire wanted to hear from him.  
"Wha- No you don't think that.. do you??" Alex raised his eyebrows and looked at Claire with a questioning expression.  
Claire put her hand on Alex'. "I'm your best friend for so long, you can tell me everything. I love you and whoever you decide to love, I love as well."  
"Claire what are you talking about??" Alex replied.  
"The way you're looking at him. You can't think or talk about Josh without smiling." Claire explained.  
 _"What is she thinking? I mean yeah I thought lots about Josh the last days but that doesn't mean anything! Is she gone mad?"_ Alex thought. Then he quickly responded without taking a break. "It's just because I admire him as person. His coolness and how he manages his life. If you would now what he went through you would understand me!" Before Claire could say another sentence Alex already continued "Today's school day is over, I'm super tired and I think I will go home now. I need to take a nap."  
Alex was very upset that Claire was literally forcing him to sort his feelings. He felt awful that even his best friend was accusing him as gay which originally only the bullies were used to.  
When Claire wanted to clarify the situation Alex already left her side and went outside the school building.  
  
He angrily made his way home when he saw Josh, who came over to talk to Alex. Suddenly all anger was blown away.  
"Hey Alex, how are you?" Josh asked.  
"Hi Josh, I'm good." This was the first time Alex actually meant it. "What are you up to?"  
"Nothing special, I just had my last lesson so I'm actually about to go home now." Josh answered.  
"Yea, me either." It was silent for a while and Alex said "I wanted to ask if you would like to meet in the park this evening?"  
"Sounds good, what time?" Josh suggested.  
" At seven?" Alex replied."  
"Good, I'll be there." Josh smiled.  
"Bye then, see ya later." Alex turned around, had a huge smile on his face and heard Josh calling after him "Bye, 'til 7!"

At home his mother did pasta with green pesto. One of Alex' favorite meals. He ate together with his mom at the kitchen table.  
"How was school, honey?" his mother asked.  
"It was good" Alex answered.  
"You say that always, dear" she replied with a smile.  
"True, but today it was really good day." Alex said. His mother smiled at Alex and said she's happy for him.  
Alex just finished eating, took a sip of his orange juice and looked at his mother. "Mom, I'll meet a friend at 7 in the park. Just wanted to tell ya."  
"Oh that's great! When will you be back, honey?" his mother asked.  
"I have no idea but I guess I'll be back around 9PM." Alex responsed. His mother nodded.  
"Thank you for dinner mom, I'm going upstairs to take a shower."  
"Sure, your welcome honey. Hurry it's already 5:30PM." He nodded and ran upstairs. Indeed he had to be quick.  
  
Alex went to the bathroom, turned on the warm water and took a long shower. When he was finished it was 6:00PM.  
He went to his room to dress up. He put on a black, breezy T-shirt with a V-neck, darkblue denim jeans and a black leather bracelet. It was really warm today so Alex didn't put on a jacket. It would take him twenty minutes to reach the park so he went downstairs to watch some TV until it was 6:40PM.  
He watched Glee, which is Alex' favorite TV series. His favorite characters are Rachel and Kurt. Their relationship always reminded him of his with Claire... until today. Rachel would never force Kurt to any feelings he isn't aware of on his own.  
  
The glee episode just ended when the clock turned to 6:39PM. _"Perfect timing"_ Alexander thought.  
  
He took a last glance in the mirror before he opened the house door, brought his hair into the right form a last time and headed out of the house.  
He called "Bye mom, I'll be punctual!" when he closed the door.  
  
Alex reached the park five minutes before seven o' clock. It was scarily empty. He found a nice bench and was waiting for Josh, while watching the sun slowly go down.  
  
Someone tipped Alex' shoulder quite harsh. He turned around to say hi to Josh, but when he moved, he saw the person he least expected.  
It wasn't Josh. It was Jayden and Zack and Cole stood behind him.  
"What do you want here??" Alex asked panicked. He knew this could only mean trouble. His pulse became really fast and he could hear his heart beat as loud as drums.  
"You know Alex... in school we can't take care of you anymore, but outside here, where nobody can see us, we can do whatever we want to."  
  
Alex just tried to run away when Zack and Cole already grabbed his arms and legs, which prevented Alex from moving.  
"Take that you gay slut!" Jayden hit Alex with a fist into his face. Blood streamed out of Alex' nose and he had to shut his eyes for a moment to come back to senses.  
"I-I've never did a-anything to you. Wha-What do you want from me?!" Alex muttered, gulping and gasping. Everything in his eyes had turned into a swirl.  
"You remember what happened two years ago in the park? Do you want a repetition of that?!" Jayden asked threatenig without in need of any answer.  
"Oh god, PLEASE, just let me go!" Alex screamed, suddenly hardly fidgeting, but Zack and Cole had him fixed in their handle.  
"You wished... no chance." Jayden laughed, pointing to a bush behind the bench, advising his two partners to bring their victim there.  
  
Tears were rolling down Alex' face as they pulled him behind the leaves. Jayden gave him another harsh punch on his neck "Faggot!!"   
Alex sank to the bottom and left a painful moan. Right before he came back to senses another fist hit his cheek. Alex exclaimed another loud, hurtful and fearful whimper.  
"You've enjoyed this? Here's another one you gay pervert!" Jayden kicked Alex with his feet into his stomach. He winced and spit blood out. "  
Wh-Why a-are you doing this to m-me?" Alex sobbed, half crying.  
"Zack, Cole, hold him tight and shut his mouth!" Jayden commanded while they turned Alex on his stomach.  
Before Cole moved his hands on Alex lips he could express a very loud, whimpery scream. "Heeelp! PLEASE!". The homophobs looked irritated for a second, but as soon as they noticed nobody was near that could hear it they went on with their game.  
"No one can hear you here, you lil' faggot!" Zack said with a huge grin on his face. Alex whimpered and tried to scream through Cole's hand but all that was audible were silent sobs.  
  
"Let she show begin" Jayden whispered. He couldn't avoid a greedy laugh. Alex couldn't believe this was just happening. He was near a nervous breakdown, streams of tears flew down his cheeks thatmixed with blood coming from his mouth and cheeks.  
With a rough stroke Jayden twisted Alex onto his stomach and pulled Alex' jeans down to his lower legs. "You like it rough you gay jerk?" Jayden whistled into Alex' ear, chuckling.   
Alex decided not to watch what Jayden would be going to do now and moved his head onto the left side, pressing together his eyes. Crying and gasping. Suddenly Alex felt a sharp tip entering his upper back. He assumed it was the top of a knife but didn't want to discuss this thought.  
He prepared for the following torture to begin when -BAM-  
"Get OFF him you fucking bastards!!" Josh sprinted to Jayden and kicked him off from Alex with a strong punch. "Are you gone MAD you psycho disturbed homophobs!?!" Jayden looked shocked, crawling on his hands to Zack and Cole, who already ran off. "Scat! I will call the police!" Josh shouted.  
"You will regret this, Josh Hutcherson!" were Jayden's last words while he disappeared with Zack and Cole. Josh rushed down to Alex.  
"Alex??? ALEX?! Can you hear me, what have they done to you?! Did I come too late??" Josh screamed. No response.  
Josh shook Alex' shoulder who was finally slowly replying. "N-nothing...you came in time. Y-you s-saved me." Alex muttered disoriented.  
  
Josh helped him up and brought him to the bench. Alex was paralyzed, breathing heavily and very fast. He knew without Josh he couldn't have escaped.  
"Alex please tell me, did they ever try this before? Please tell me, I need to know!" Josh asked furiously, stroking Alex' back.  
Josh's voice brought him back to reality. Alex' reflexively expressed a loud, sounding scream. All pain came back to his senses and Alex started to twitch hardly.  
"Shhhhh. Shhhh. I'm here Alex." Josh said, trying to calm Alexander down and pressed him into his arms.  
Josh pushed Alex out of his arms to look at his wounds. His face was still very bloody and his neck had two big purple bruises. Also Alex chest was full of them and his arms had many grazes. Josh took out a tissue and dabbed the blood from Alex' beautiful face.  
It was silent for a moment and Alex let his face fall into his hands while Josh put his right arm around him. After about ten minutes Alex came back to Josh' question. Alex somehow managed to talk quite fluently.  
"I-I was fourteen..." he began which got Josh's attention. "I-I broke up with... ex-girlfriend ...Natali. She-she... told everyone I was gay a-and then the harassement began... Jayden and his two friends were the main b-bullies. They never l-left me alone. One s-summernight I was out in the park to get a break 'nd g-gasp fresh air. It was ...too late when I noticed Jayden and his cronies followed me. I ran but they were faster than me. They owerpowered me and brought me to the tree over there." Alex pointed to an old, big oak down the path. "They h-held me tightly and Jayden he-" Alex stopped for a moment and started to cry.  
"It's okay Alex. I'm here for you." Josh pressed the suffering boy against his shoulder. ".. A-and J-Jayden..h-he r-raped me Josh..." these words left Alex' lips with achey loud sobs and gasps. Josh's eyes widened and his eyes filled with rage and anger. "Oh my god! They will fucking pay for this!! I tell you this right now!" Josh screamed. "Alex I can't even imagine how you're feling now. I am so sorry if I only had been two minutes earlier." Josh added, feeling guilty and a tears left his eyes.  
Alex' head fell on Josh's chest who could hear Alex' whimpers becoming louder and painfuller.  
  
Josh noticed Alex started to freeze so he put his leather jacket around him. Josh wanted to check if Alex could stand on his feet, because he didn't want to stay all night in the park.  
"Do you think you can walk?" Josh asked quietly, trying to focus on how to help him. Alex nodded, but when he stood up a huge laceration in the back of his head showed its whole magnificence. That was also when Josh noticed the deep slit in Alex' back. Alex' back side from head to hip was fully covered with blood. Pain overfloaded Alex like a tearing arrow. He quickly touched the spots where the devilish pain was coming from.  
As soon as Alex reached his head, he suddenly collapsed into Josh's arms. Josh could barely catch him before his head landed on the stones. Alex had already lost a lot of blood.

 


	5. More Than Friends

Josh sat lonely at the kitchentable in his house. His elbows supported on the edge of the table, his face grabbed into his hands and his legs were angled. The room was dark and empty.  
Josh felt the cold on his back but he wasn't able to move. He was lost in his thoughts, they were surrounded by guilt feelings and fears.  
Suddenly a loud sob slipped out of Josh's mouth. Another, and a third. His palms got wet as they covered with salty tears. He took a deep breath when his hands went to the little, white coffee cup. He took a small sip, not actually tasting the strong liquid. The coffee was already cold but it helped Josh to stay awake. Sleeping was the last thing he had in mind.  
He sat there for already seven hours and he knew he had to wait even longer. The waiting was torture.

One hour later it was 6:00 AM and Josh was still sitting on the same chair in the same position. The sun was already rising up in the horizon and the birds began their peaceful and beautiful morning melodies. There were no clouds at the sky, which meant a wonderful spring day. Today was May 1st. Josh wouldn't go to school today. It would be too exhausting.  
  
Josh stood up and he pushed the chair he just sat on to the table. He rubbed his chin hopefully and went upstairs to look for Alex. When he arrived at the door of his bedroom, where Alex was recovering in, he slowly and quietly opened it. He stepped in and sat down on a chair in the corner of the room. It was much warmer here than in the cold kitchen downstairs.  
Josh looked at Alex, who was breathing heavily. Alex' face was covered with little beads of sweat, he coughed and whimpered now and then. Because of the big loss of blood his face was still very pale and his lips were a combination of slight blue and cold red.  
Josh hoped Alex wouldn't suffer from fever but his temperature was very high.  
"Alex, please wake up. I'm so sorry. I wish I didn't look away. I should have helped you earlier so this didn't have to happen."  Josh whispered, leaving a tear onto the back of his right hand.

* * *

  
"Noooooo!!" Alex screamed, waking up from a dream about yesterday night. He nervously looked around in the unknown room to make clear he was safe. Alex calmed down but at once he felt terrible pain coming from his back and forehead.  
His head and his upper arm were covered with white, fresh bandages. Also a clean, long bandage lead around the breast to his back, which covered the aching spot on the back. Even the rest of his arms and parts of his collar were full of band aids.  
He glanced at the alarm clock: 13:12.  
Alex removed the bandages around his face to check what was causing the pain. The insides of the bandages, in contrast to the white outside surfaces, were deeply red. Shock and loathing pervaded Alex' body when he slowly realized what he just dreamed wasn't a terrible nightmare but reality. Alex questioned where Josh is, because he knew Josh must have taken him to his house. Alex had nothing on but his briefs and when he looked to the ground he knew why: His clothes were literally soaking in his own blood.  
He felt awful. Tremendous headaches and weakness feelings interfered with his perception. His muscles felt heavy and painful.  
  
Josh sprinted into the room gasping and coughing with a terribly anxious look on his face. He saw that Alex woke up and took off his bandages.  
"A-are you okay?? I heard you screaming when I was down the street, I-I was just about to get us some things for breakfast, when your scream made me run back" Josh muttered. Obviously exhausted but filled with adrenaline.  
Josh felt nothing but happiness seeing Alex didn't take any worse consequences from the punch-up but then he saw Alex crying and sobbing and his joy turned into guilt and sorrow.  
"Oh god Josh..." Alex sobbed and his head fell onto his chest and his hands covered his face. Alex had a nervous breakdown, his fingers and body were shivering, his voice was shaky and tears flowed in streams.  
Seeing Alex like this broke Josh's heart. He didn't hesitate to sit down next to Alex to press him into his arms. He stroked his back, while scanning his bruises and wounds.  
  
Alexander freed himself from the tight hug to talk to Josh. "I-I am so thankful. W-without you, I-I would ...s-still lay there o-on this..." Alex stopped for a moment to take a deep breath "...on this c-cold ground defenseless and helpless a-and nobody would have cared about th-that..." Alex' mouth left a loud sob, his hands were shaking even more "...that I-I've just been raped!" Alex fell against Josh's shoulder who had to calm him down "Shhhhh. Shhhhhh. Everything is okay, you are safe." Josh whispered into Alex' ear.  
"I will be here for you...always. ..Forever." Josh said. He pushed Alex from his shoulder so that he faced Alex. Alex came closer to Josh's mouth. Both noticed they wanted to feel each other on their lips. They didn't care about anything else. Josh took a deep breath, his palms covered Alex' cheeks while he moved forwards and even closer. Their lips were millimeters distant from each other when Josh finally leaned in to kiss Alex on his lips. They felt soft and cozy on Josh's as if they were made for each other.  
Warm feelings streamed through Alexander's body when they ended their kiss, which at least last two minutes long. Josh smiled at him warmly and happily said "I wanted to do this for so long, Alex."  
"You have no idea what filled my thoughts in the last weeks, Josh." Alex replied when Josh gave him another kiss with a silent moan. This time a shorter one but not less passionate.  
"This was beautiful." Josh said which caused Alex to smile widely and kiss him once more. Butterflies went wild in the boy's stomachs.  
"I will go downstairs to make us some breakfast. I will come and get you when it's finished. We won't go to school today so we've got the whole day for us." Josh exclaimed when he pecked Alex on his cheek and left the room.  
  
When Alex was alone in the room he smiled and then licked his lips. They were still tasting like Josh's, fruity in a sweet way, which reminded him of cherries, but by far not so intrusive and intense.  
 _"Wow. Finally I receive clarity about my feelings. All the time I was thinking of him was because I simply felt attracted to him. I couldn't sleep because of Josh. His smile, his looks, his eyes, his voice, his everything drove me crazy and still do._  
 _I already miss his lips on mine and his hands around my face.  
Seems that I'm gay... or bi? I don't know and I don't care what society labels me as. I only know that I feel something very strong for Josh. I don't know how to define it but it's something very positive. I just hope he feels the same way_ _."_ Alex thought.  
Alex wanted to get ready when he realized he didn't have any clean clothing so he went to Josh's wardrobe to get a red, flecked T-shirt and a grey jogging pants. He wanted to be as comfortable as possible. All his pains and aches were gone. Josh's kisses flooded Alex' body with thousands of happiness feelings. He already begged for more.  
A smell of fresh eggs and fried bacon climbed up Alex' nose, which got his attention. Just now he realized how hungry he actually was. He made his way down the stairs and then noticed his head was still dizzy and every footstep tensed in his body and left a slight stitch in his head and back.  
  
Josh looked up, his eyes shined. "Hello beauty." Josh said. Alex smiled, walked towards Josh and kissed him fiercely. He bit Josh's lower lip tenderly and then leaned back. "Mmmh.. Ooh somebody likes it rough?" Josh said with a sarcastic tone.  
As soon as Josh said this Alex looked down to the floor, his smile went to a hurtful look.  
Josh's eyebrows were pulled together and he straightened Alex' chin with his hand up. "Did I do something wrong, Alex?" Josh asked bewildered while stroking Alex' cheek.  
"No.. but that's what Jayden said to me before he tried to..." Alex fell silent and gulped. "God I didn't know that, I'm so sorry." Josh replied, his eyes became wider and he hugged Alex tightly.  
"It's okay, it's not your fault" Alex responsed "It smells amazing here! I'm soo hungry, what did you cook?" Alex added, trying not to sound sad but excited. He didn't want to ruin this special day.  
Josh chuckled "Well, we have fried bacon, scrambled eggs, fresh buns and orange juice." Jos took a big tray with many delights in his hands, turned around and afterwards placed it on the table. "Sit down, handsome man." Josh said, smiling seductively and gave Alex a kiss.  
The boys sat down and both ate with no break. They didn't eat anything in the last twenty hours. When they finished Alex said "Wow Josh, you're not just a wonderful kisser, you are also a fantastic cook." Josh laughed, stood up and give Alex a long kiss instead of saying thanks.  
When Alexander thought about the last time he ate something he reminded the lunch with his mother - "Oh my god, Josh! My mother! I bet she is dying of sorrow right now! Since yesterday midday I didn't contact her!" Alex quickly stood up to get a phone to call his mom, when Josh already stopped him by saying "I called her yesterday. I told her that you're staying the night at my house and we would go to school together today. I know how much you love your mother and don't want her to go crazy with concerns about you, honey." He pecked Alex on his cheek, who thankfully replied "You are perfect!"  
"Stop it, I'm not!" Josh laughed but obviously enjoyed to be called like that. "Anything you want to do today, Alex?" Josh asked.  
"I don't know. I will do whatever you want to do. Surprise me?" Alex said, smiling at Josh while his forehead was touching Josh's.  
Thereupon, Josh put his palms around Alex' waist and pressed him against his body. Josh kissed him gently, his tongue touching Alex' upper lip asking for entrance. With no hesitation Alex opened his mouth and their tongues met.  
After a while of kissing Josh said "I have an idea! Get some jeans, you can take a pair out of my wardrobe." he smiled and Alex directly walked upstairs to get some.  
  
Back in Josh's room Alex went to the wardrobe again and looked for a nice pair of jeans. He then encountered something edged and hard.  He took it out and held a framed photo of Josh and an older woman in his hands. _  
 _"Aw is that little Joshie? How adoreable! I'm sure the woman is his mother, she looks really beautiful. She has mediumlong, wheatblonde hair and is tall and slim. She has the exactly same hazel brown eyes I love."__ Alex thought.  
He put the photo back and found some extremely cool, slim, darkblue denims. Alex always admired Josh's style. He also found a checkered lumberjack shirt in different shapes of blue he also put on in case that Josh wanted to go outside.  
Moments later Alex could hear Josh calling his name. He walked downstairs and was really excited to see what Josh had in mind.  
  
As he reached the kitchen he could see Josh wearing his sunglasses and carrying a picnick basket with a picnick blanket.  
"I thought we could go out to have a little picnick for dinner and enjoy the rest of the day together." Josh suggested with the smile on his face Alex loves so much.  
"Sounds great Mr. Hutcherson." Alex replied smiling, giving Josh a kiss, who moaned quietly.  
"Then let's go." Josh said and took Alex' hand. "Wait Josh, don't you think we could need an umbrella?" Alex asked. Josh laughed "The sun is shining since this morning and it's super warm outside. I don't think an umbrella is needed but thanks for caring." Josh smiled.  
"You're probably right." Alex looked embarassed to the ground, stroking his hair. "I need to call my mom before we go out, 'cause I better tell her that I'll be back later in the evening." Alex took out his mobile phone and Josh nodded smiling.  
  
Ten minutes later after Alex ended the call with his mother he walked into the livingroom to tell Josh they could leave now.  
"Where are we actually going?" Alex asked.  
"It's a surprise, but I'm sure you will like it." Josh replied, kissing Alex gently. They headed to the door but before they opened it Alex grabbed Josh's arm to say something. "Josh is it okay when we don't...well kiss in public? I just-..." Josh interrupted him. "Sure." He said, smiled at Alex and kissed him softly on his forehead.  
  
While Josh locked the door Alex looked around Josh's house, the neighbourhood was familiar to him. He recognized this place, it was only three streets and one block away from his own house. "Josh did you know we are only 10 minutes from each other apart?" He asked.  
"Yes I did, I picked you up from school yesterday, right?" Josh laughed and Alex had to chuckle as well. "Just follow me okay?" Josh added, smiling secretively.  
Alex nodded and followed him silently.  
Josh took him behind his house into his garden. There was a white fence with a small hole and behind the fence was a meadow covered with yellow flowers which lead into a forest. They slipped through the hole and made their way to the forest.  
When they arrived at the forest they had to jump over a small brook. The  water bank was surrounded by many different, colorful flowers and high juicy green grass. Little glowworms floated in the air and long wafer-thin branches, decorated with many small, pale green leaves, that hung from big, bent birch trees veiled the entrance to the enchanted forest.  
  
"Wow Josh this is so beautiful!" Alex admitted. Josh turned around and looked at Alex, he smiled.  
"Let's hurry, the sun goes down soon!" Josh said, grabbing his friend's hand. They were completely alone so it was totally okay for Alex. He even blushed a bit feeling Josh's masculine hand on his.  
After a while they came to a huge bush. Josh pushed a big branch with dark green, solid leaves aside and a small, quiet lake occured. The shore was full of fresh grass and surrouned by big, thick brushes and trees.  
"We are there." Josh put the picnick basket on the ground and spread the red picnick blanket. He sat down and pulled Alex down to him.  
"It's amazing, Josh! Wow, thanks for taking me here." Alex replied.  
"Let's eat a bit." Josh said and took out a bread slice with tomatoes, mozzarella and olives, which he gave to Alex.  
"I love italian food. It's my favorite snack!" Alex said thankfully and took a big bit from the bread. "Are you hungry too?" Alex asked, pushing the bread to Josh's mouth, who also took a big bit. "Thanks." Josh responsed. Giving Alex a kiss on his cheek.  
They ate another slice of bread and shared a bottle of orange juice until both were fed up. "That tasted gorgeous, Joshie." Alex said.  
"Just for you." Josh replid while giving Alex a kiss on his neck. Alex then leaned his head against Josh's chest, who stroked his hair gently.  
They just sat there, enjoying each other's appearance, while watching the little lake, the trees and the birds doing their love games.  
  
When the sun went down Josh grabbed Alex' hands and squeezed them. Alex suddenly felt the need to feel him. He moved himself onto Josh's body so he was laying on top of him, he just wanted to kiss him when suddenly a big drop landed on Alex' nose. He raised his head and saw huge, dark, almost black, clouds at the sky above them. More drops landed on his head. "Josh, damn it, I believe it's starting to rain." Alex said disappointed.  
"Whatever Alex, this is super romantic..." Josh took a short break and looked to the sky when it started to rain cats and dogs. He looked back down and Josh's eyes shined and he looked at Alex' beautiful face. Josh's heart jumped and his pulse became louder and faster. He felt this sensitive burn in his throat telling him to get rid of a certain need. The words tickled Josh's tongue and his heart fluttered even faster when he said "I love you, Alexander." He drew closer to Alex and kissed him deeply. Alex eyes filled with a waterish veil "Josh, I love you too!" Josh grinned and both shut their eyes preparing for a long passionate french kiss. When they met in Josh's mouth, he moaned quietly.  
"Be my boyfriend..." Josh muttered into Alex' mouth.  
"Oh god, I want nothing more!" Alex answered, heading in into another, long, burning french kiss.  
This kiss was magical, it was a kiss out of pure love, their most amazing and emotinal kiss yet. Alex felt millions of butterflies making mischief in his stomach. He went below Josh's shirt with his hands, massaging his defined abs and chest muscles. Josh smiled while he kissed Alex and he and moaned once more, this time louder than before, which told Alex that his boyfriend obviously enjoyed it.  
After minutes of making out both were sopping wet. Josh wrapped the picnick blanket around them, but Alex couldn't stand the extreme moisture and the pounding drops on his wounds anymore. "Josh I love doing this with you and my mind goes crazy when but my wounds start aching again and we shouldn't get sick." Alex explained. Josh nodded understanding. "You are right. Let's quickly run to my house. Alex, I love you." he said.  
"I love you too." Alex responded. Both gave each other another long kiss while standing up.  
  
Afterwards they found their way out of the forest, jumped over the brook, sprinted over the meadow, ran into Josh's house and quickly shut the door.  
Inside they leaned back at the door next to each other. They laughed and kissed once more. Alex was obviously shivering.  
"Josh, can I take a shower? I'm so cold." He asked.  
"Sure thing my love. Just go upstairs, I will wait until you are finished." Josh answered and pecked Alex' cheek. It was already 9PM. "Oh and Alex?" Josh added. "It is really late, I want you to stay the night, please." Josh looked caring, it was obvious he didn't want Alex to go home with all these wounds at this late time.  
"I will call my mom and try to ask her if I can stay the night again, sweety." Alex replied.  
  
Alex went upstairs to Josh's room. He was calling his mom until someone picked up.  
"Mom? Is this you?" Alex asked.  
"Ohh... hey honey, yes it's me. Where are you?? Didn't you want to come home in the evening?"  
"Mom, well actually yes, but I wanted to ask if I can stay the night at Josh's again?" he asked.  
It was silent for a short while but he could hear his mother sighing.  
"...Oh dear... alright but tomorrow I want to see you directly after school. Okay?" his mother replied.  
"Thanks mom! I love you so much, see you tomorrow, byeee."  
"Bye honey, don't do anything you could regret later. I love you too." his mother hung up.  
Alex didn't know what this last sentence was meant to say but he didn't actually care. He was super happy he could spend the night with Josh.  
".. _spend the night with Josh..."_ Alex repeated in his thoughts. _"I love Josh so much but am I ready for that? I bet he is way more experienced that I am. I wonder if he ever had a relationship with a guy before? I don't have any nor nice sexual experiences. The ones I have are terrible enough not to speak them out. The most I've ever wanted to do was just making out, still I am, terrible enough, not a virgin. Jayden forced himself onto me in that night in the park two years ago and traumatized me for the rest of my teenage life. I never knew who to tell and who could protect me so I just let it eat myh eart. Since then I can't imagine any touches meeting my private body parts. I hope Josh doesn't expect too much from me and hopefully he isn't forcing me to do anything. I need more time, even though I know Josh is not the guy who would just throw me away, but I don't want to take a risk in love. It should feel completely right."_  
Alex heard Josh screaming his name, which brought him back to reality.  
  
"Sweety, will you stay here?" Josh asked lovingly when he came into the room.  
"Yes honey, I will." Alex replied while walking into Josh's strong arms. "I will take the shower now." he said kissing Josh.  
"Ohhh naked action in the shower? I will join ya." Josh said seductively. Alex eyes widened, he looked shocked. It's not that he didn't want Josh but he wasn't ready for it yet.  
At once Josh burst in laughter. "I was just hoaxing Alex, I love you, take your time. I will watch TV, join me when you're finished." Josh pecked his cheek and then ran downstairs.  
"I love you too." Alex whispered.  
  
He took off his clothes, took a fresh towel out of Josh's wardrobe and went to have a shower. The warm water felt incredible on his cold skin.  
Thirty minutes later Alex was finished with soaping, cleaning and drying. He put on his briefs, the grey jogging trousers he wore in the morning and the red flecked T-shirt he wore whole day.  
Alex ran downstairs to cuddle with Josh while watching TV but when he arrived at the living room the light was switched off, only the TV was still on. Josh was laying on the sofa with shut eyes and Alex noticed his lover fell asleep. He saw Josh was completely naked only his lower body part was covered with a little piece of blanket. His wet clothes were laying next to him on the floor. Alex wasn't quite sure if Josh did this by intention but he noticed he enjoyed it. He looked extremely sexy when his naked body was laying defenseless and peaceful on the couch.  
Alex decided to join Josh and fall asleep besides him. When he layed down next to his boyfriend he could feel him wince.  
"Oh Alex...I'm sorry I fell asleep." Josh muttered tiredly.  
"It's okay honey, I love you." Alex responsed kissing Josh onto his mouth. He smiled.  
"I love you, too." Josh responsed with closed eyes.  
Alex switched off the TV, gave Josh a last kiss and then closed his eyes as well. After two minuts he fell asleep on Josh's chest.

 


	6. Infinity Times Infinity

The sun was already gracing Alex' face when he woke up from last night. He slowly opened his eyes and remembered the last day, especially the parts when he made out with Josh, who confessed his love to Alex, with pleasure.  
He never felt so happy and satisfied ever before. Alex still couldn't realize Josh was his boyfriend and just the thought of it made his relaxed lips crash to a wide smirk.  
  
Alex turned around and noticed Josh already got up.  
The blonde boy set his torso upright and moved into a sitting position when he realized burning pain coming from his back. He had fresh, new, white bandages wrapped around his chest and forehead. While thinking of yesterday he almost forgot about his wounds.  
Alex didn't really understand why parts of his body were covered in bandages. He knew that he put those off yesterday morning.'  
  
Then he noticed the brand new sofa cover and the paraphernalia, which were needed to patch up his injuries. When Alex stood up from the sofa his body felt tense and stiff.  
Alex was totally bewildered and he instantly wanted Josh to tell him about what caused his boyfriend to cover him in new bandages.  
  
Alex' steps were small and slow. He felt like he had the worst muscle ache ever. He was looking and calling for Josh, but neither his boyfriend answered, nor Alex found him.  
Alexander swallowed the pain and made his way upstairs to the bathroom. Before he could start any big search attacks he had to wash his face, take a sip of the cool tap water and, if his aching body would allow it, take a hot shower.  
  
After what felt like an eternity Alex finally arrived at the bathroom door. As soon as he opened the door a heavy heat wave crashed into his face, which made him cough slightly. When he stepped into the room he saw Josh standing in front of the bathroom mirror while shaving completely naked.  
For a second Alex saw Josh's bare butt, who quickly turned around, startled from the sudden door opening. Alex felt his cheeks go on fire when he saw Josh in his full naked glory. Alex was always aware of Josh being quite the muscular guy, but this sight exceeded his expectations: Josh had an amazing body. His chest was absolutely athletic and greatly sculptured, all his six abs were immensely defined and slightly graced by tiny, brown hairs, which were barely visible, and his biceps was bulging by every movement, showing a small, long vein go down the curvature. Not to mention how gifted Josh was below the waistline.  
  
Alex quickly rushed his eyes down to his feet, which made him blush even more. Just looking at Josh's divine body distracted him from thinking clearly. Although they were boyfriends Alex didn't feel comfortable looking at Josh's most private part yet. He had already imagined it often, but he didn't expect it to happen so early, which left him absolutely unprepared for such a kind of situation.  
"S-Sorry J-Josh, I-I didn't - uh... I thought you w-were somewhere outside the house - I ..." he stopped when Josh interrupted him.  
"Alex, it's okay, I didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable, I thought you would still be sleeping for at least another hour. The night was no fun for you..." Josh said, while turning around and putting on his black boxer briefs.  
Skipping the fact Josh could ever make him feel uncomfortable, Alex was caught by Josh's last sentence, but before he could say anything Josh already walked over to him and gave him a passionate morning kiss.  
  
By kissing Josh, Alex almost forgot what he wanted to ask his boyfriend, but when it came back to his mind he quickly pulled away and gave Josh a questioning look. "W-What do you mean... No Fun? Why do I have _these_ on me and why is my head feeling like it got into a juicer?" Alex asked while pointing with his finger to the bandages.  
Josh sighed. "Cutie, your wounds started bleeding strongly. I desperately tried to wake you up for several times, but you just didn’t. It seemed like you were way too much tied to your terrible nightmares, you even cried while asleep. I was really worried about you, also your temperature was so high that I thought you had heavy fever. All I could do was to stop the bleeding so I did pressure bandages onto your back and head. Then I changed the covers on the sofa so that you could sleep peacefully on a fresh underlay and not on bloody, sweaty sheets."  
Alex was terrified he couldn't remember anything from the night, not even those nightmares he had. "Oh. I-well... Thanks Josh. A lot. I'm sorry you had to take care of me so much." Alex reached for Josh's hand and squeezed it softly.  
"There is nothing to be sorry for. It was my fault nonetheless. I shouldn't have brought you into this heavy rain, which only made your wounds pulsate even worse and eventually made yourself ill." Josh responded, who definitely sounded guilty.  
"It's not your fault. I wanted you to take me out, moreover it was beautiful. I-I do love you, Josh." Alex replied while blushing softly.  
"I love you, too, Alex." Josh leaned in to give his lover a long, loving kiss, which quickly turned into French kiss. Josh made sure to never let his hands go off Alex' cheeks and neck while kissing.  
  
"Alex, babe?" Josh grunted and pulled back for a second to be able to speak.  
"Hmm?" Alex quietly exclaimed into Josh’s mouth while putting his right hand onto Josh's chest and resting the left on his neck. He could feel that Josh was smiling playfully.  
"You know... I can feel that arousal you've got down there..." Josh whispered.  
Alex quickly opened his closed eyes and pulled back. His face flamed. "I-I-Sorry...uhm ...I mean not sorry but, well-" before Alex could end his stuttering sentence Josh leaned and gently bit Alex' upper lip before giving him another kiss.  
"You are sweet. It's nothing to be ashamed of." Josh said before he turned around, grabbed his T-shirt and went out of the bathroom. "I will prepare us something to eat." he trailed off while giving Alex a peck on his cheek.  
"How about school?" Alex shouted while nervously stroking his arm.  
"Do you really think you can go to school at this state?" Josh called back while trailing off the hallway.  
Alex knew his boyfriend wasn't in need to hear any contradiction, because Josh was absolutely right. Alexander felt at least a bit better than when he got up previously, but still bad enough to not attend at school. Moreover, he didn't really mind it at all.  
  
Once Alex took a hot shower and got dressed he went downstairs to see what Josh made for breakfast; well as far as it could be called breakfast by taking the fact that it already was 1PM into consideration.  
  
When the blonde arrived at the kitchen he saw a shirtless Josh, who was making pancakes. Alex greeted his lover by laying his head onto Josh's back, which slightly eased his tremendous headache.  
"Isn't cooking with a bare chest quite dangerous? Tiny splashes of fat could burn your skin." Alex murmured still pretty sleepy while slowly drawing little circles onto Josh's back.  
Josh shrugged "Didn't really think of it to be honest." He turned around and gave Alex a kiss. "I hope you like pancakes?"  
"I love 'em." Alex responded.  
"Good. You're lucky, my pancakes are the best." Josh proudly stated and took the last one out of the pan and onto the plate next to the furnace. He brought the plate with the pancakes to the table while Alex took two smaller plates out of the china cabinet before they sat down.  
  
"These look so great!" Alex said during placing a fork of pancake in front of his lips.  
"I hope they taste good." Josh responded.  
Alex chewed on his bite and let out stimulating moans till he finally swallowed the piece of pancake.  
"Oh my god, it tastes amazing! You are so good at cooking!" Alex murmured while pushing one bite after another into his mouth.  
Josh smiled grateful and then also took a first bite from his pancake. "I'm glad you like them. I use brown sugar instead of white sugar, which makes a big difference. Not many people do that, I think."  
"Are you that good at everything in the kitchen?" Alex asked before finishing his third pancake.  
"Well actually I'm only good at breakfast and baking stuff."  
"You should be lucky that you've got me then. I'm quite good at cooking meals and dinners. My pesto spaghettis are to die for." Alex said as he cleared his plate and put it into the sink.  
"Therefore, we make such a great combination." Josh winked and gave Alex a short kiss. Then he cleared his plate as well.  
  
Alex grabbed his boyfriend's hand, who walked out of the room through the kitchen door and into the living room. Josh walked over to the sofa which was placed in front of the TV. He sat down and pulled Alexander into him. Alex was now lying on top of Josh and kissed his lover.  
"What are we going to do today? Go to the forest again?" Alex asked the brunette while looking into his lover’s eyes.  
"At your health we aren't going anywhere, cutie pie. Yesterday did nothing good to your wounds." Josh sighed deeply. "I still can't believe what Jayden wanted to do to you. If he had hurt you I had never forgiven myself." He fell silent and Alex got off from Josh and positioned himself so he way lying in between Josh legs and his back met Josh’s chest.  
Alex realized the painful sound in Josh's voice.  
"You know it's not your fault, Josh. You saved me from these monsters and any worse consequences. Please stop feeling guilty." Alex said.  
"I can't Alex! Can't you see with how many injuries, bruises and sprains your body is covered?! If I had only been on time this wouldn't have happened."  
"Josh, it's not that bad, I don't fell as awful as you think." Alex lied, he felt terrible, but he tried everything that could distract Josh from feeling guilty. "Moreover, it would have happened anyway. If not this time then maybe in two weeks, see, you hadn't been able to avoid it."  
As soon as Josh opened his mouth to respond Alex shushed his mouth and said "Please, I don't want to talk about it. It isn't easy for me to conflict with it."  
Josh wanted to say something but instead nodded understanding. "It's just that I don't want to lose you. I love you, Alex."  
"Josh... I love you, too." Alex shyly smiled and Josh gave him a passionate kiss.  
  
After a few minutes of making out, Alex started to feel cold, that expressed in shivering. He loosened from Josh's tight grip and grabbed a blanket from the opposite armchair. Alex sat in front of Josh, who looped his arms around the blonde, and snuggled into his boyfriend's chest while wrapping the blanket around them.  
  
"Know what? We're just going to sit on the sofa, watch TV and cuddle the whole day." Josh suggested.  
"Sounds perfect. Later though I need to go home, you know my mom thinks we are sitting in school at the moment." Alex said before wrapping his arms around Josh’s muscled chest.  
"Sure thing. I will bring you home."  
Josh took the remote control and switched on the television.

 Three hours later, it was already 4:30PM. Alex and Josh were still sitting on the sofa, snuggled into each other and were currently watching Glee.  
  
“Did you know Glee is my favorite TV program? Rachel and Kurt are my favorite characters, their relationship is really similar to mine with Claire…well was.” Alex said and sighed.  
“What happened between you? Weren’t you best friends?”  
“Josh, you know, she…well, actually... I acted super childish. She tried to understand me and I just pushed her away. I don’t know how to face her after this.”  
“From what I can tell, you two have a very deep connection, which can't be broken by an unnecessary disagreement. Believe me, as soon as you talk to her all contentious issues will be forgotten.” Josh responded.  
“You’re probably right. I need to talk to her soon.” Alex moved and straightened his view from his fingers up to Josh’s eyes. “Thanks.” He said while Josh was running his fingers through Alex’ hair.  
Alex loved when Josh was doing this.  
  
While kissing Alex almost forgot the time.  
“God! Josh how late is it?”  
“It’s… lemme see...” Josh lifted his wrist to look at the watch. “16:45 aaand …forty seconds.”  
“Oh damn! I should have been home thirty minutes ago!” Alex responded panicked.  
“Relax Alex, we will just tell your mom the teacher added twenty minutes to the lesson.”  
Josh had this special effect on Alex which could calm him down within seconds.  
“Okay… but let’s be quick nonetheless.”  
  
Five minutes later the boys left Josh’s house and made their way to Alex’. They made sure to carry school bags so it would look realistic like if they just came back from school.  
  
When they reached the diversion that leads to Alex' house, Josh gripped Alex' wrist and drew him aside to the nearest tree. They were standing behind a big oak, which shielded from curious eyes.  
"W-What's up?" Alex yelped, obviously surprised by Josh's harsh and rushed push.  
"I didn't want to say goodbye without reminding you who you belong to." Josh winked and shushed Alex. He bent forwards and brought his palms to Alex' cheeks. Josh supported his forehead against Alex' and looked down to his boyfriend's lips. Alex liked this dominant side of Josh.  
"I love you Alex, nothing will separate us. Okay?"  
"Okay." Alex whispered. "I love you, Josh."  
The brunette brought his lips down to Alex' and gave him a gentle, long kiss.  
"I need to go now, thank you for escorting me home. I will message you later." Alex interrupted the kiss, gave Josh a warm hug and went to his house.  
  
As soon as Alex stood in front of his door he ringed the bell two times. A few seconds later the door burst open and Alex' mother stood in the doorway. Her face was frowned in tension and met with anger. In her right hand she held a glass of wine.  
"Where have you been?!" his mother asked reproachful. She took a sip and scratched her forehead.  
"M-mom? Well, I - the teacher, he was upset with the pupils so we had to stay twenty minutes longer and-" Alex stopped talking when his mother pulled him into the house and shut the door.  
"Don't lie to me! Where have you been today and yesterday all this time?" his mother asked again.  
"I have already told you. I was at school and afterwards at Josh's, we -"  
"That's not true! You haven't been at school since Wednesday! Today, the school principal called and he said that you're missed for two days and nobody knows where you are. The principal said without an official leave of absence you get an expulsion from school. This is your last chance, you better use it!"  
"Oh...mom, I- I'm so sorry. This had never been my intention." Alex buried his face in his hands and sat down on the kitchen chair.  
"And there is another thing. The principal said thold me that several teachers notified him about that you're being bullied. I thought this is all over? Why didn't you tell me? I thought I could trust you and that we could tell us everything!"  
"Mom, yes it's true. B-but it stopped. It's over and they leave me alone." Alex stuttered.  
"All of a sudden?! And why is it over now? Be honest. You are defending them, but you shouldn't! You don't have any reason to!" His mother walked nervously around the room.  
"Because... Mom… there is a boy, his name is Josh… Hutcherson. He helped me and since then the bullying has stopped."  
"Who is this guy? Are you sure he isn't in cahoots with the bullies?"  
Alex breathed deeply and straightened his head. He bit his lower lip and jiggled nervously with his right leg.  
"Mom, Josh... Josh is my boyfriend. I'm in love with him and I think I'm gay." These sentences came faster from his lips than he thought. It took him a lot of courage to express these words.  
"A-Alex. I don't know what to say. How could you hide these things from me? From your loving mother?? I thought we could tell each other everything. Your father never told me anything and then he left me. How can you reject me the same way he did?"  
"God, mom, really I was never supposed to imitate dad! But most importantly are you okay with Josh, I mean, you will stand by me, won't you?" He raised his voice towards the end.  
Instead of responding his mother drank the whole wine glass in one sip.  
"Mom! Say something!" Alex now yelled and he could feel tears collecting in his eyes.  
"Please, go into your room." Alex' mother said and walked out of the room. All Alex could hear was a door slamming loudly.  
  
Alexander's face was completely covered with tears now. He pushed off from the chair and ran upstairs into his room, also slamming the door behind him and cried himself into sleep.

* * *

When Alex woke up his eyes felt sore and glassy, he must have been crying and sleeping for three hours already. Meanwhile it became dark outside and also his room was pitch-dark and dead silent. The whole house seemed empty and lonely.  
The blonde felt left alone and misunderstood. The only person that would understand him was ten minutes apart, but Alexander didn't care. He had to see Josh, to feel his presence and smell his scent. His boyfriend was the only person that could fill the momentary hole in his heart.  
  
Alex got up from his bed and grabbed his smartphone from the bedside table. He selected Josh's phone number and started to type a message.  
"Need you. Pls. Expect me in 20 mins." he pressed 'send' and buried the phone into his pocket.  
  
He walked over to his closet and dug out a medium large sports bag. He quickly stuffed a few briefs and other clothing into the bag. Alex went into his bathroom and got a toothbrush and few other things and added them to the clothes.  
Alexander needed to get out of this house, away from home and escape this situation. He could at least stay the weekend at Josh's.  
  
Alex put on a dark blue hoodie sweater and a black jacket, grabbed the bag within his stuff, opened the window and clambered out of his room. He walked over the small canopy and reached a twig of a big oak. Alex maneuvered himself onto the thick branch, crawled to the big tree trunk and climbed his way down the tree.  
  
As soon as his feet reached the ground he began his walk to Josh's. It was a very dark night and Alex could see his foggy breath fill the cold air always when he would exhale. He crossed his arms and pressed them to his chest to keep his body warm, which prevented him from shivering.  
Alex was starting to feel worried, because Josh still didn't reply his message. It had already been about fifteen minutes since he sent the SMS and normally his boyfriend would answer him right away.  
  
Alex was only a branch apart from the entry to Josh's street and the closer Alex came to him his heart started heating up again.  
  
He was only 100 meters distant from his target and could already recognize the house's outline. As he came closer to Josh's he could notice two silhouettes, standing underneath a street lamp that were fighting with each other. It gave Alex a queasy feeling.  
  
At once, he realized the right silhouette was his one and only beloved boyfriend. Alex fastened his steps and was now 70 meters apart. He didn't think about anything; he just wanted to do something which could help his love. When he was only 40 meters from Josh and his attacker remote he finally recognized the guy who Josh was handling with. It was Jayden. Alex now ran. Strangely enough he was nothing else but surprised.  
Suddenly he heard a loud crack. Josh gave Jayden a harsh punch which beat him to the ground. Jayden seemed to be whacked. Shocked Alex stopped his walk and inhaled deeply. He took a moment to think about reasons that lead to this situation.  
All at once Alex was ripped out of his daydreaming when he noticed that Jayden came back to senses. The guy took a shattered whiskey bottle from the ground, lifted it into the air and made his way quickly, but obviously drunk, back to Josh. Unfortunately Josh turned his back on Jayden and didn't realize Jayden was going to attack him with the bottle from behind.  
When Jayden was only a few steps away from ramming the sharp edges of the bottle into Josh's soft, brunette hair locks, Alex' heart suddenly made a jump and he sprinted to his boyfriend. The time stood still and Alex just concentrated on running. He ran for his life, trying to achieve anything that could avoid Josh from having any bad injuries.  
Jayden was already taking a swing but Josh was still turning his back to him. Alex exclaimed a loud, whimpering sound that said "JOSH! NOOO!!"  
  
Then everything seemed to go way too fast. Josh turned around and at that moment Jayden's bottle was already reaching its clinking, splintering impact. But it was not Josh who got the bottle onto his head. Instead Alex jumped in front of his lover, which brought Josh to fall onto his back, while Alex was receiving the brutal, energetic punch on his forehead. The bottle seemed to split into thousand pieces from which some clinked to the floor and a few drilled into Alex' head, immediately causing to rip his skin and freeing thick, warm blood streams that immediately covered his face.  
Unhesitatingly the helpless blonde boy collapsed onto the floor and laid motionless and unconscious in front of Josh. A pool of blood formed its way down the sidewalk.  
  
Within seconds Josh jumped on his feet, rushing down to Alex, whose breathing lowered, while trying to wake him up without success.  
Josh's eyes filled with tears and his panicked voice crashed through his dry throat. "WHAT DID YOU DO?!?!?" Josh screamed, processing a thump full of anger and hate towards the jaw of Jayden, who couldn't respond and was at once lying knocked out on the stones.  
The whole street came to life and lights, which went on, shined through the windows of many neighbor houses.  
"Somebody!! PLEASE, call the emergency!" Josh loudly and forceful whimpered between panting sobs.

* * *

He couldn't remember who called the number but four minutes later the ambulance and the police were standing next to the scene. Sirens, red and blue lights filled the cold, dark air and made the quiet, peaceful night come alive.  
  
Josh defensively bended over Alex and the emergency physicians had a tough time removing him from the worrying unconscious boy.

The time flew by and before he realized it Josh found himself back in the bad in his own house. Memories from the last night exploded in his bran and he had to concentrate strongly to create an ordered sequence. Josh wished he hadn't drunk so much. He emptied two whiskey bottles all alone which gave him the worst hangover he ever had.  
  
Yesterday after the police questioned Josh about the incident, the emergency doctors arrived. Josh never left Alex' side. Josh was sitting and standing next to Alex, while holding his hand all the time in the ambulance and until they were left alone in the hospital room for a few minutes, while the op room was being prepared. They had to remove the glass splinters out of Alex' head, especially those which were drilling purely with every movement. As soon as they arrived the hospital Josh had immediately called Alex' mother and told her about everything.  
Before Alexander was brought into the op room Josh gave his boyfriend a long kiss onto his cool, motionless lips. Maybe and just maybe, Josh thought, it was Alex' luck that he was unconscious and didn't notice anything that was currently happening.  
  
When the doctors picked Alex up, Josh was left alone in the hospital room. Feelings of guilt plagued his mind and he couldn't think about anything else but what would be if Alex took bad brain damage from the impact with the bottle. Josh would never be able to forgive himself.  
  
A few minutes later Alex’ mother arrived at the hospital room with tear-rimmed eyes. She was just as beautiful as Alex and had his sparkling ice-blue eyes, although Alex' mother's hair was a dark ebony brown, which curled up towards the hair tips. Her look and especially her lineaments reminded him a bit of Madeleine Stowe except that their eye colors were completely different.  
  
It was the first time Josh saw Alex' mother and no words needed to be spoken as both knew who each other were. Josh realized Alex must have told her about him, otherwise she would have asked him who he was before she hugged him tightly.  
There were no dialogues between them, they were just sitting in the hospital room while waiting for the operation to be finished. Just sometimes Alex' mother gave Josh a weak but warm smile which released Josh's extreme tension for a tiny, little while.  
  
Minutes went by until she exclaimed her voice.  
"You should go home, take a sleep and come back in the morning. I will stay here until Alex' wakes up. The operation might still take a long time. This night must have been exhausting enough."  
Josh looked at her dubiously, but he knew she was right. He needed sleep and he needed time to collect his thoughts. Alex shouldn't awake to a mess Josh felt like he was at the moment.  
"Thank you" was all he managed to say.  
Alex' mother smiled lovely and squeezed Josh's hand before he went home.  
  
The SMS Josh read when he arrived in his room, where his phone was laying on a table, didn't help his state at all and made his nervous breakdown found its maximum.

Alcohol seemed to be his best friend then, but now it killed him. Even though Josh felt whacked twice nothing could prevent his intention that he needed to see Alex as soon as possible.  
Josh jumped out of his bed, swallowed a few headache pills without water and slipped a pair of jeans and a grey, wooly sweater on. He rushed into the bathroom, combed through his hair and took a huge sip of the mouth rinse, which was standing in the bathroom cabinet next to the mirror, just to drown the awful taste he had in his mouth. Josh quickly brushed his teeth and then stormed out of the house.  


* * *

Around twenty five minutes later Josh arrived at the hospital. He looked at the watch on his Smartphone and his glance showed it was 7:49 in the morning. Josh was very surprised he was awake so early but he didn't mind it, because the horrible nightmares weren't a better alternative at all. He had to wait ten more minutes until visitors were allowed, which felt like an infinite eternity.  
  
Punctual at 8, Josh registered as visitor down in the lobby. When he got consent the secretary told him that Alex was now lying on floor 8 in room 223.  
  
Josh's heart rose when he stood in front of the door to Alex' room. He hoped everything was alright with the shy, blonde boy he fell so deeply in love with. Josh couldn’t think any longer of his boyfriend without tears starting to form in the corners of his eyes.  
He quickly brushed the salty water drops from his face and opened the door.  
  
He walked around the small corner and stood directly in front of Alex. He was sleeping and had a few IV’s in both his arms and a huge bandage around his head. His face had a few bruises but otherwise he looked okay. Not as bad as the last time he found him in a similar state, even though this time it probably took worse consequences.  
  
Josh came closer to his boyfriend and put his right hand on Alex’ right cheek, while stroking his thumb over his lover’s soft and cracked lips.  
“Oh god Alex. I am so sorry, this happened to you just because of me… again. I should have read your text message. I wish I hadn’t ignored the vibration on my night table when Jayden walked by my house. Why the hell did I have to go out and start a discussion with him?”  
Josh sighed deeply and leaned his forehead onto Alex’. After a few minutes he pulled away and starred into Alex stiff relaxed eye lids.  
  
A second later the motionless eye lids started to move and the blonde opened his eyes slowly. Josh didn’t hesitate to wrap his strong arms around Alex’ neck.  
“Alex!! Finally you’re awake. How are you, is everything alright? Jayden this goddamn bastard! He is on the police station at the moment. They are asking him about the incident and he could go to jail! He is already of age.”  
“J-Josh?” Alex stuttered dazed.  
“I’m here.” Josh answered and quickly leaned down to give Alex the first, real kiss since the accident.

Josh stroked Alex’ neck and touched his cheek while they were kissing. The brunette slightly bit down on Alex upper lip and from time to time hardened his bite.  
  
It was the moment when Alex couldn’t respond his boyfriend's touches that made him panic like he had never before.  
“Josh!!” Alex almost screamed. His heart was racing.  
“What’s wrong am I hurting you?” Josh asked worried and shocked.  
“N-no. I-I can’t feel my hands.” Alex murmured and gave Josh a gaze he never had seen from him before.  
Josh’s jaw dropped and his eyebrows raised but not a second passed until he pressed the button that would call the nurse.  
  
"Is everything alright with you Mr. Ludwig?" a nurse said when she walked in a few seconds after Josh pressed the button. "Oh I see, you've got visit." the young woman in clean, white clothing added. She observed Josh, who was tightening his grip around Alex' left hand.  
"H-he can't move or feel his hands! What's wrong?!" Josh asked furiously, he almost yelled. His voice sounded panicked and shaky.  
Unimpressed from Josh, who raised his voice, the nurse slowly gave an explanation "It's a consequence from the harsh brunt of the glass bottle. I will send you the doctor for further information."  
"Please hurry!" Josh said and sat down next to Alex as soon as the woman disappeared.  
"Alex I am so sorry, this is my entire fault, what if-" He got interrupted by Alex cutting him off.  
"Josh, don't. Please, can we wait to see what the doctor is going to tell us?" Alex felt weird he was the one that had to calm Josh down and not the other way around. Both fell silent and waited for the doctor.  
  
"Good morning I'm doctor Clark." the tall man in a white coat introduced while shaking Josh's hand and nodding towards Alex' direction. "Mr. Ludwig, a part of your brain was so badly shaken that the motor function of your hand isn't properly working, but this doesn't necessarily mean that you can't feel your hands neither interact with them. At the moment your hands still feel numb because of the operation and the anesthetic."  
"And what is concrete meant by saying that his hand movement isn't working properly?" Josh asked. Calm this time.  
"That's the actual consequence. It means that the weakness in his hand movement manifests itself by a constant hand tremor. Yet we don't know if it will be both hands that will be trembling and how strong it is going to be. In the next few hours Mr. Ludwig will probably feel his hands starting to shake."  
This sentence hit both boys with a shock. Alex eyes became glassy. It would mean he could never draw again. His only passion.  
"A-and is this somehow fixable??" Alex stuttered.  
"Yes. Luckily it is. You will visit rehab every day and you will get a personal supervisor. Certain tasks and brain treatment will be done. The only problem is we can't say how much time it will take. Some people only need two or three months, while other people need many years."  
Both Josh and Alex didn't say a word.  
"I will come back later. When we got all the test results and clarified all cases with the rehab, we leave you and you can go back home. Oh, and by the way, you will be left sick off school for the next two weeks. At your state you can't attend lessons properly, Mr. Ludwig."  
"Thanks doctor Clark." Josh murmured and Alex nodded.  
  
As soon as the doctor disappeared Alex couldn't hold his tears back anymore. He needily grabbed for Josh, who directly wrapped his arms around his innocent blonde boy. It hurt Josh to hear Alex desperate cries and sobs while he knew he was completely helpless.  
  
It almost took Alex a full hour to calm down. He loosened from the tight hug and Josh stroked Alex' face gently.  
"Jayden will never ever hurt you again. When the police arrived yesterday I told them everything that happened. I told them what he did to you that night in the park two years ago and that Jayden tried to do it again. I had to tell them about the violent actions and the attack with the bottle which caused you to pass out and be in danger to life. The police officer said when everything is confirmed by you; Jayden is going to prison and gets probation for a year. I'm so sorry Alex, I love you."  
"Josh, I-" Alex voice fell weak and in this moment he couldn't think of the right words.  
"You're safe now. I will never leave your side." Josh leaned in to touch Alex' forehead with his. "I love you, cutie pie."  
"And I love you, Joshie." Alex replied and Josh's lips crushed against his own.  
  
With Josh besides him, Alex knew he could do everything. They were made for each other and Josh was his soul mate. Their connection was deeper than infinity.  
  
It was Infinity times infinity.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Review and leave Kudos! When I notice you start to enjoy this story I will post the chapters more regularly. x  
> If you have any suggestions or wishes for the story then just comment and I might see if I add them into the plot.


	7. Destiny

When Doctor Clark told Alex the shaking would start to occur in the course of the morning he wasn't lying. The blonde could feel his right hand shivering stronger with every passed hour until a certain peak was reached.  
Even though Alex was really worried about his right hand, which was a really unlucky case as he was right-handed, he was glad only one of his hands was affected.  
  
Unlike Doctor Clark had promised Alexander had to stay another night, because the test results weren't clear and he had to remain for observation.  
  
Josh was all the time staying at Alex' side, he was worried for his boyfriend and he felt guilty. It hurt Alex to see his love feeling all responsible for what happened to him, but nothing was his fault.  
  
Alexander felt completely handicapped and kind of ashamed, because of his nervous hand trembling. He always buried the shaking hand under the blanket except when Josh grabbed for it and squeezed and kissed it.  
  
Somtimes the nurses or even doctor Clark came into the hospital room to look for Alex and ask for his state, but most of the time the two were alone.  
  
The boys used the time to talk, mainly to distract each other and especially Alex from the tremor, but also to exchange what happened, which led to the situation that caused all this trouble to Alex and Josh.  
  
Alex told Josh about his fight with his mother and Alex was more than surprised that his mother was so kind to Josh and that she even attended at the hospital room to look for her son. From what he could tell he thought she would never want to see him again.  
On the opposite side Josh was as well surprised as Alex, because he had never possibly thought that Alex' mother was the reason why he ran away from home.  
  
While they were talking they forgot the time and it was already getting really late. Sometime during their talks a nurse came in and placed a dinner next to Alex' bed, but Alex couldn't think of eating neither sleeping so he was really relieved that Josh was in his room and instead of eating his dinner Alex just continued their talk.  
  
"Josh, you know, our relationship has been a rollercoaster so far and I know that I love you deeply, but do you think we are rushing things? I mean ... not that I don't enjoy every little moment with you, but I only know so few things about you. I just know that your living alone and that you've got a really sad family story. In return you know my story and that's already a big thing. No one else knows it but I want to get to know more about you. I want to know all the little things about you, like when is actually your birthday? It is hilarious we never talked about this... and what is your favorite color?"  
  
"It's true Alex, our relationship was a bit rushed and we were boyfriends quite soon, but that just emphasizes the love we feel for each other. I really love you and I never felt like this before. And ..oh, we shared way more, like very hot kisses and I think we both saw each other naked for at least a mini second, so that's not too bad..." Josh replied with a playful wink.  
  
Immediately Alex could feel his cheeks blush and he couldn’t other than interrupt Josh quickly. "W-what, y-you saw me n-naked? How... When!? A-also I meant...like personal things."  
  
"Yes, when I had to change your bandages the night you collapsed in the park after Jayden tried to... well.. you know, I also had to change your clothes and underwear which were blood-red and all soaked. I mean, not that I wouldn't have enjoyed the view but I just gave a quick glance to rush the fresh underwear upon your waist so you don't have to worry at all, I barely saw something."  
  
"O-okay...I-I see" Alex answered with his cheeks on fire, he didn't know how to react, so he tried to change the topic but when he caught his breath Josh shushed him with his index finger which made Alex blush even more.  
  
Josh giggled "I wasn't finished, cutie. So to answer your questions: My birthday is on July 12th. And my favorite color ... hmmm... I'd say it is blue but I also like greens. How about you?“  
  
„Well my favorite colors are like aquatic colors, colors that resemble the ocean and exotic colors, I really like aquamarine or a romantic sunset orange.” Alex answered.  
  
Josh laughed. “You’re such a girl!” He patted Alex’ hair. “So... your birthday?”  
  
“I am not! I’m 100% a boy!” Alex frowned but couldn't hide a pouty smile. “My birthday is on the 7th November, so in a bit more than two months.”  
  
"You are! You're definitely the girl in this relationship. So... do you want a pink pony for your birthday, cutie?" Josh enjoyed teasing him.  
  
"Stop it! I am indeed male and no I don't want a pink pony." Alex giggled and rolled his eyes.  
  
"Don't roll your eyes at me young lady!" Josh said with a serious tone but his eyes were playful.  
  
Alexander sarcastically groaned and rolled his eyes. He patted the place besides his bed to tell Josh to lie down next to him. Directly Josh stood up from his chair and placed himself next to his boyfriend.  
  
"Someone being all cuddly, hm?" Josh asked and gave Alex a kiss on his cheek.  
  
"I'm greedy for human contact at the moment." Alex said after he received the kiss on his cheek.  
  
"Is that so?" Josh replied and rolled on his side to somewhat lay half on top of Alex and afterwards gave him a gentle kiss on his lips.  
  
Alex smiled. "I know what you're going fo-" he got interrupted by Josh sticking his tongue into the blonde's mouth. Alex eventually welcomed him and responded to the wet kiss until he realized where they were. Quickly Alex pulled away.  
"J-Josh not here! They could come in any second."  
  
"They? You mean the nurses that didn't show up at any time except twice? You are soooo the girl!" Josh laughed.  
  
"I am just being careful; I don't want to make out with you almost naked, while someone is coming into the room." Alex said, ignoring the girl part again.  
  
"Almost naked mhm, so you were planning to rip of all our clothes?" Josh smiled and drew playful circles on Alex' forehead.  
  
"First of all, I said almost naked! This means at least underwear left on our bodies. And secondly, I wasn't planning anything, even though when I got such a handsome boyfriend."  
  
"Yeah, sure. By the way, you’re not so unsexy yourself, cutie pie" Josh simply said.  
  
Alex blushed by such a choice of words. "I-I'm not so sure. I don't think that I'm really attractive."  
  
"Then how do you think did you attach me to this handsome boy I'm now talking with?"  
  
Alex blushed even more. "Luck?" He took a deep breath. _"Did Josh slip closer or why did it get so warm in here_ " Alex thought.  
  
"Shut up!" Josh yawned and shut his eyes. "If I wasn't so tired I would start a discussion about that now."  
  
"Good you are, then." Alex moved a bit to the left side, so that Josh could move closer besides him. "Come on, join me and slip under that cuddly blanket." Alex requested.  
  
"How could I deny that lovely offer?"  
A second later Josh stripped off his denim jeans which left him in his boxer shorts and t-shirt. Now he sat directly next to Alex underneath the cover.  
Josh put his left arm around Alex, who directly placed his head on Josh's well muscled chest.  
  
"This is really comfortable." Alexander whispered and then noticed how tired he actually was.  
Josh combed his hand through Alex hair and stroked the hair tips while massaging his forehead slightly, which caused Alex to quietly moan in pleasure.  
  
"You really do love this, don't you?" Josh asked and smiled.  
  
"I can't help it; I guess it's some kind of sweet spot?" Alex giggled.  
  
"Seems so." Josh placed a kiss on Alex' forehead. "How... How is it feeling?"  
  
"What? ...Oh. You mean... my hand, the tremor. To be honest, I somehow got used to it really quickly. Our talk distracted me a lot from it. Only sometimes like when I ...well, like previously, when I wanted to touch you it was really dominant. It just gets really annoying when I'm thinking about it or when I'm lonely and have nothing to do, just like when you were on the toilet a little while ago. Then it really bugged me and I... I started to bite my... nails. It lowered the trembling and I was focused on my fingernails."  
  
"Cutie, that is a bad habit." Josh exclaimed and he could see that Alex shoved his hand deep under the blanket.  
"Alex, show me your hand."  
  
"No, I..."  
  
Josh didn't hesitate to pull the blonde's right hand out of the warm cover. What he saw didn't look good.  
"Alex! Your nails look like tattered! You almost bit down half the nail, some are even bloody! How long did you bite on them?"  
  
"U-until you came back, y-your presence gives me security. I don't know I just felt... so frightened that you weren't with me and if you'd be gone then I had no one left." Alex admitted.  
  
"Alex, I'm sorry, god." Josh whispered and tightened his grip around his boyfriend.  
  
"You can't be blamed. You need to be able to visit the bathroom without me getting all nervous."  
  
"No, that's not what I mean. This whole shit is my entire fault. You saved my worthless life but the fucking bottle hit you instead. You're the most important thing to me. I can't even protect the only person that I love. I can't lose you, my parents are like non-existent and you're really everything to me, Alex."  
  
"Josh, you won't lose me. Sometimes I might seem weak but I'm not. It's not your fault. It's no one’s fault. I made my own decision to run away from home and luckily I did, because otherwise you could be dead by now. I can't lose you either." Alex shut his eyes and snuggled into Josh's chest.  
  
Josh took Alex trembling hand, squeezed it and gave it a loving kiss. "Promise me to not bite your nails anymore. You can always call me when I am not with you or when I'm just at the toilet you can always scream my name to make sure I am there."  
  
"I promise. Thanks. I love you, Josh." Alex softly stroked Josh's chest with his left hand while his head was laying on it and the right was still in Josh's palms. "You will stay the night here, won't you?"  
  
"I hadn't planned any different. I will be right next to you when you wake up in the morning... or at any other time." Josh gave him a long and loving, gentle kiss until a yawn broke him away from it. "And I love you as well, cutie."  
  
"Thanks." Alex quietly responded. Before he made himself comfortable to fall asleep on Josh's chest he made a quick glance to the clock, which said 02:13AM. Wow, it got late very quickly.  
  
"Don't always say sorry, you deserve everything you get. Good night, cutie pie." Josh replied whispery but Alex had already drifted off to sleep.

* * *

A tall silhouette on heels made its way into the hospital room.  
The noises the shoes were causing woke Alexander up from his dreams.  
He slowly opened his eyes and noticed that he was still lying on top of Josh's chest, who was breathing quietly and even. Josh was sleeping peacefully with Alex in his arms.  
Before he looked up to the person that made its way into the room he looked at the clock. It was only 5:43AM and he hadn't even slept for four hours.  
  
Then Alex finally straightened his head and recognized the person that stood in the middle of the room right away. She was all too familiar to him. Alex didn't know whether to feel happy, afraid or angry.  
  
"M-mom?" Alex swallowed. His mother was the person he least expected to visit him at such an early time and he wasn't sure if he wanted to see her, but he at least wanted to give her the possibility to explain herself. After all she'd been nice to Josh when Alex was being operated.  
  
Mrs. Ludwig smiled at Alex and sat on a chair a few meters in front of her son. She made sure to face him and Alex already straightened his body in Josh's grip to see his mother's face better. Meanwhile Alex made sure not to wake up his boyfriend.  
"You seem to be really happy with him." she said.  
  
"Yes. I am." Alexander replied dull, he wasn't sure what his mother was striving for.  
  
"He is really happy to have you, too. When you you've been in the op room he was here the whole time and waited for you. We didn't talk a lot but he really cared for you, he was really nervous and concentrated. His thoughts were stuck to you."  
  
Alex started to feel the anger building up in his stomach. "Unlike you? I thought you were rejecting me, because the last time we saw us was when I confessed to you that I'm gay and you told me to fucking go in my fucking room!" The blonde's voice fell shaky and he could feel tears curling up in the corner of his eyes. He didn't want to cry but he couldn't help it.  
For a second he was afraid he had woken up Josh, but the brunette was still sleeping.  
  
Alex' mother said nothing. She looked down to her feet and stroked the longest curl of her ebony brown hair.  
"You are right. I can’t say sorry often enough and I don’t know how to justify my behavior, but I want to tell you that I support you and Josh completely. You are my son and I for sure stand by you, it definitely wasn’t your sexuality that made me sick. It was the fact you’ve hidden all these very important things from your mother and I thought you had rejected me. Just like when your father left us. I felt betrayed somehow, because I always told you everything and I thought I had no effect as a mother in your life anymore, that our connection was broken. I don’t care if you love a girl or a boy, because in the end, it is love and love isn’t what is between your legs, but what happens in your brain. I am happy as long as you’re happy. I love you, Alexander.” she said and stood up from her chair to give Alex, who loosened from Josh’s grip, a tight hug.  
  
“Mom please understand, I could never reject you, I just didn’t know how to act with it and I didn’t want you to worry, you are everything, besides Josh, that I love and I am so relieved that you still love me. For sure I will forgive you, it’s not that I could ever hate you.” Alex said and he wiped off the tears from his face, also his mother had tears falling down her cheeks.

“I couldn’t reject you. Never. It was a stupid reaction and I regret it more than anything, because you ran away due to our fight and that is why you’re here in this hospital. I can’t stop giving myself the fault. I am so sorry for your hand tremor, it shouldn’t have happened. I am so so sorry.”  
His mother cried even more than before and she tightened her grip around Alex.  
  
“Mom, stop it! I also told Josh that I'm old enough to make my own decisions and I made my decision to see Josh in this very late night and if I hadn’t he maybe wouldn’t be here anymore. Besides I barely feel the tremor.” Alex answered with a shaky voice and he lied. The trembling way very present, but as long as he could distract himself it was bearable.

“I will leave you now my sweetheart. I think you got good company.” his mother said whilst looking at Josh, who was still sleeping, unimpressed by the two exchanging cries and louds. “Can I expect to see you tomorrow as soon as you’re able to leave the hospital?” she added while sniffing a last time.  
  
“Okay mom, thanks for coming. For sure you’ll see me. I love you.” Alex replied and gave her a weak but warm smile.  
  
“I love you too, my son. You’re everything to me.” his mother exclaimed before she gave him a long, lovely peck on his cheek and then left the room as quickly as she came.  
  
When she was gone, Alex snuggled back into Josh’s chest, who directly tied his arms around him as if he had already been expected. Seconds later Alexander fell asleep.

* * *

In the morning, Josh woke up before his blonde, shy boyfriend. Josh had his arms still tied around Alex waist and while they were sleeping they somehow turned into a spooning position. Eventually Alex was little spoon.  
  
Josh enjoyed the position for a few minutes before he rode up so that he sat upright and his back was meeting half the pillow and half the cool wall. Alex didn't seem to bother as he nonchalantly cuddled into Josh's chest and arms right after the little change in position. Josh smiled and brushed small strands of angelic, blonde hair out of his love's eyes.  
  
Minutes seemed to pass and Josh just watched his boyfriend sleeping. He thought that Alex looked way too adorable while sleeping and Josh wished he could kiss Alex right now but that could wake him up and he deserved every bit of peaceful sleep. Josh then decided to be satisfied with a kiss on Alex' head.  
This moment was just perfect, but then he found Alex' right hand trembling constantly below the cover and it felt like a hit into Josh's face. He then remembered why they were here in this hospital and thus he began to feel guilty again. He dropped his head and was soon about to leave a tear, but then he reminded that Alexander said he didn't want Josh to feel guilty and he didn't like it at all, so for Alex' sake Josh pulled himself together, but deep inside nothing could help to clean Josh's conscience. Not until his sweet boy would be healed.  
Josh tightened his grip around his love and with the back of his one free hand he gently touched Alex' left cheek and admired the smooth, innocent skin on the cheekbones. Josh turned his hand and with the tip of his index finger he drove along from Alex' cheek down to his chin and then up to his sweet, soft lips that always had this pale and light shade of pink, which Josh loved to kiss. He didn't understand how someone as beautiful as Alex could still be single. He looked like an angel alive, so virginal, shy, delightful and sweet.  
  
A few more minutes of Josh just watching his boyfriend asleep past until Alex seemed to wake up.  
With still shut eyes Alex took a few deep breaths until he fluttered his eyes open. The light was crashing into his eyes, which caused him to blink heavily and keep his eyes closed for a few seconds until he could open his eyes again. Then he realized Josh's grip around his body and a smile came upon his face. He looked up to see Josh staring at him warmly.  
  
"Finally awake, cutie?" Josh asked and gave his boyfriend a kiss on the forehead.  
  
"Were you watching me asleep?" he replied and then sat upright as well to face Josh, the warm cover stripping down from his body and a cool breeze hugging his torso. He rubbed his eyes and exclaimed a silent yawn.  
  
Josh smiled, this right now looked super sweet, like a little puppy awakening from his nap. _"Was he so cute on purpose?"_ he thought.  
"Yeah I did. You looked really adorable to be honest, so angelic." Josh answered and brushed through Alex blonde hair.  
  
Alex blushed. "I-I'm not adorable. Or angelic." he said and scratched his shoulder.  
  
"You are! Just you’re blushing and your stutter when you're sheepishly flushed is totally sweet. Don't put yourself down, you're amazing."  
  
This didn't help Alex' blushing at all and he hoped to hide it with calming his left hand on one of his cheeks.  
"I-well thanks. But... I don't really think so. Also I only slept so deeply, because I was laying on your chest so I could hear your heartbeat, which is really comforting and peaceful."  
  
He tried to hide his blush but Josh indeed noticed it and he couldn't help but grin.  
"See, listening to my heartbeat is probably the most adorable thing you could do."  
  
Alex was getting slightly uncomfortable with all these compliments so he decided to just play the game.  
"Well... it's not that I'm trying."  
  
"You're a natural cuteness then." Josh said with a grin on his face.  
  
Alex tried to change the topic and also the heat on his cheeks was getting to a point where it become unbearable.  
"Stop grinning! Your perfect white teeth make me feel uncomfortable." Alex said and pulled on a strand of his hair. He should shower later; his hair was getting quite dull already.  
  
"Oh well, you should ask me how I feel! Your whole beauty makes me feel uncomfortable." Josh loved this game; he could tease his boyfriend the whole day and water him with compliments just to see this cute, pink blush on his cheeks.  
  
Alex couldn't do anything against it. For sure the heat was coming back to his cheeks and he could see Josh was already about to grin his teeth off, but Alex knew how to get his boyfriend's attention.  
"Tonight my mother was here when you slept. Something about five in the morning I think. She, well... we talked and she is happy for me and she accepts us, which is the most important. I thought she had rejected me that night I ran off but she just... it was too much for her; she thought I had blocked her out of my life. But whatever the thing is, we're good again. She loves me and I love her of course." when Alex finished he had no air left in his lungs and took a deep breath. He kind of felt stupid; he must have sounded like a little child that is waiting for opening its presents on Christmas.  
  
Josh directly hugged Alex tight. "I am so happy to hear this! I mean, I didn't know how to feel after you've told me how she reacted towards you when you told her about us."  
He slowly leaned in and gave his blonde boyfriend a loving, deep kiss, without tongue connection. Just a kiss that lovers would give each other.  
  
After a minute Alex broke the kiss to take a breath. "I-I am really happy, too. Especially now that I've got you and I don't have to worry about us. We will get through this and the doctor said it could already get better after two months, so let's stick to this hopefully."  
  
Alex sentence brought Josh back to reality. Of course destiny couldn't mean it too well by them. Their situation was far from perfect, Alex had this heavy hand tremor, which also caused problems to concentrate clearly and in the end Josh couldn't stop himself from feeling guilty and responsible for all this.  
"You're right, we can- will make it. I'll be there for you. I love you, Alex. You saved my life and I can't thank you enough for that."  
  
"I know it, I love you too, Josh. This hand tremor, I know you can't stop feeling guilty about it, but it also didn't only save your life but mine as well, because what would I do without you? I would p-probably...do... suicide." Alex grabbed for Josh's hand and squeezed it.  
  
"No Alexander, you won't try to take your life just because of me! When anything would ever happen to me, I would want you to live. Please, promise this to me. You deserve a long, happy life."  
  
"Josh... you couldn't stop me. You know that you're everything I've got and you're also the most important to me. You're like the air I need to breathe so that I can survive. How could I go on without you?" Alex could feel tears filling his vision.  
  
"No, no don't. Alex, please. If there is anything I would ever demand you to do then it would be this point. Don't cry, I'm still here with you and I will be for a very long time. I shouldn't have brought up this topic, I am sorry I just-" Josh got interrupted by a kiss on his lips, which forced him down on the pillow.  
  
"Sorry, sometimes I just get a bit too emotional. You're right; no one of us is near death, so let's forget this silly, silly topic." Alex said. He couldn't deny that Josh had his guilty face on again, but maybe there is something that could cheer him up.   
"...Also I know a way to make you smile." Alex added-  
  
Alex rolled himself on top of Josh and rested his hands on his chest. He kissed him all over his face. Josh tightened his grip around Alex back and he let his hands slide down his backside until Josh's palms were squeezing Alex' rear. No one ever before touched this sensitive part of Alex and he seemed to enjoy it.  
Josh took Alex and they turned them around so now Josh was on top of Alex. Josh kissed him with more pressure now and he licked his boyfriend's upper lip line to ask for entrance. The blonde didn't object at all.  
"...Josh…“ Alex moaned, dazed from the different feelings of pleasure and exhaustion.  
Josh grinned, but he didn't want to do anything that Alex could regret later, so he gave him a gentle spank on his right butt cheek, which caused Alex to moan another time, and a last passionate French kiss until he broke the flirtation.  
  
"Wha- What? W-Why?? Why did you s-stop?" Alex asked with shut eyes while he desperately tried to refill his lungs with air.  
  
"It's already 10:24, babe. The doctor or nurses will come soon and tell you the news whether you can already leave. We wouldn't want them to see me spanking you, would we?"  
  
Alex shook his head and his cheeks immediately blushed heavily at the imagination of Josh spanking him.  
  
Josh grinned and he could see right through his lover boy. "You enjoyed that didn't you?" his grin bigger with every said word.  
  
"I-I-I don't...I-well, I l-liked the kissing." Alex answered. He felt like some kind of idiot. How could they ever go further when this little thing made him sheepish as hell?  
  
"And you liked the pressure on your butt. I know it. I will keep it in mind." Josh still grinned and brushed through Alex' hair, which was now completely messy.  
  
The blonde didn't know else to do but nod awkwardly. He didn't even know why he nodded but his cheeks were already burning by now and he didn't want to stutter another damn word.

* * *

It was seven in the evening when Alexander was finally back in his own room at home.  
With a loud groan he left himself fall on his bed and kicked off his shoes. This took way longer than he thought. Josh and he talked till 12PM when finally someone came in and looked after Alex. It was the nurse from the previous evening with Doctor Clark to her side.  
  
  
 _-_  
  
"Good Morning Mr. Ludwig, you can leave the hospital soon, but before we would like you to do some blood tests and fill in a few sheets of paper for your personal hospital tab and for preparations for the rehab sessions." were Dr. Clark's words when he came in.  
  
Alex for sure agreed and he and Josh were really relieved they could leave so early. ...Well that's at least what they thought.  
  
In the end, Alex had to do two blood tests, one allergy test, a basic brain test at his momentary state and also fill in the _few_ sheets of paper, which in total counted 13 pages about any diseases, cases, accidents, rehab questions, etc. Alexander had to call his mother to come to the hospital, because some questions about insurances or any diseases, that Alex had as a child, weren't conclusive for him or Josh and sometimes they just didn't know the answer.  
  
Not forget to mention they had to wait until the test results were clear, it made in total six hours later until they were finally finished and allowed to leave the hospital.  
  
By the time they were entering into Alex' mother's car, Alex and Josh were about to starve. They didn't get anything eatable in the hospital and also didn't eat dinner last night. Alex' mother drove to a fast food restaurant's drive-in and ordered a few burgers, fries and soft drinks. As soon as the package was brought through the car window the boys pounced onto the food and ate it all in less than five minutes.  
Unfortunately, Alex didn't react very well to the very fast eating, which made his stomach ache uncomfortably.  
  
 _-_  
  
  
The blonde took a few minutes to calm down and enjoy the rest on his bed. His mother drove Josh to his house so he could get a few things to stay few nights at Alex'.  
  
When Josh earlier visited the bathroom in the hospital, Alexander told his mom about Josh's story and that he has no one that cares for him at home. Of course, his mother felt extremely sorry and the least was to let Josh stay for a while at their house. She anyway had to do a few meethings with her sister, because Alex' aunt was moving to LA and Alex' mom decided to help her, so in the end she wouldn't be at home most of the time and someone needed to look for her son.  
  
When Alex' phone vibrated he supposed it was Josh, who wanted to say that he's coming over now, but instead the name on the lock screen was definitely a surprise. Alex quickly unlocked the screen to read the message Claire sent him.  
  
 _Alex it's been way too long. I miss you and I'm worried. I am so worried; I heard what happened to you. Police came to me and asked me if I could approve the accusations Josh exclaimed against Jayden. For sure I did. Besides they told me everything. I am deeply shocked that this bastard tried it a second time. I have to thank Josh so much. I hope everything is alright with you and that you didn't take consequences from the accident. I will come over now, I hope you're there and if yes then don't say no, because I am coming anyway.  
Love Claire x_

Wow. He hadn't expected such a message. So it was true, Jayden would get his punishment after so many years. The thought made Alex smile. Also, he would see Claire again, his all time best friend, he felt extremely happy, although awkward, since the last time they saw each other was the Wednesday they had their dispute. Today was Sunday, which meant they didn't see each other for four days, which are only a few, but it felt way longer.  
The incidents that happened seemed to multiply the bygone time.  
  
Alex' mother was currently at the supermarket to get some groceries and Alex was alone in the house at the moment. He took the time to exchange into fresh clothes and at least brush his hair and wash his face.  
Then the bell already rang and it could have been either Josh or Claire. His mother got her own keys. Alex actually became already greedy for Josh again, but Claire would be fine as well, he missed her a lot.  
He made his way down the stairs and opened the door; something inside Alex made him feel really excited.  
  
"Hey, babe." Josh greeted and pulled Alex into a tight kiss.  
  
"Hey." Alex said warmly and smiled. "Got your stuff?" He asked and grabbed Josh's hand and led him upstairs to his room.  
  
"Sure I do! Where am I going to sleep?" Josh followed Alex into his room and then shut the door.  
  
"What a question. Here of course." Alex replied.  
  
"In the same bed?" Josh asked with a big grin on his face.  
  
"S-sure, I m-mean, only if you w-want to." Alex stuttered again. He could slap himself for this annoying habit.  
  
"Definitely." Josh responded and grabbed Alex' waist to pull him to his chest. "You have beautiful blue crystal eyes." Josh said and then kissed his lover's lips.  
After a few seconds Josh noticed that Alex wasn't really into kissing in this moment. He broke the kiss. "Is something wrong with you, Alex?"  
  
"No, I... -" Alex was interrupted before he could even finish his thought.  
  
"Is it the same-bed thing? You know you don't have to share it if you don't want to."  
  
"No that's definitely not it, I mean we slept in the same bed before.. a-and just because we sleep in the same b-bed doesn't mean that w-we...well, you...you know..."  
Alex trailed off, he couldn't even think about _that_ without blushing.  
  
"Have sex." Josh finished his boyfriend's sentence and grinned ever so widely.  
  
Now Alex cheeks were on fire and he could feel that the blush on his cheeks had to look like painted into his face. "I-I-I don't... you h-had to b-be so concrete, right?"  
  
"Well, you brought up the topic." Josh chuckled and moved towards Alex. He squeezed the boy's hand and brought his mouth to Alex' ear. "Not that I could object, though." He whispered in a husky tone.  
  
 _"Oh god, that's too much_ " Alex thought. "I-w-what?" He muttered, the younger boy was speechless and he felt extremely sheepish.  
  
 _"Let's give him another tease."_ Josh thought and he roughly spanked Alex' rear, which caused Alex to yelp in surprise. "You know, you've got a perfect butt." Josh said.  
  
Alex stared at him with an opened mouth. Josh knew what would take Alex' attention.  
The younger boy definitely felt flustered... and a part of him felt really eager for Josh. He couldn't say a word and just waited for something to happen.  
  
 _Then the doorbell rang._  
  
"Oh god, finally." Alex exclaimed quietly and relieved and made his way down the hallway until Josh grabbed his hand.  
  
"Wait, where you waiting for bell to ring?" Josh chuckled and looked Alex deep into his eyes.  
  
"N-no." Pause and breathe. "It's Claire." He said and then quickly walked down the stairs.  
 _"Gosh, when did it become so hot in here? Damn, Josh!"_ Alex thought while walking down the stairs.  
Alex arrived at the door, took another deep breath and opened the door.  
  
Claire wrapped her arms around the boy. "Oh god, Alex!! You're okay. I was worried so much and- wait. What's wrong with your hand?" Claire asked and observed the obvious shaking in hand's right hand.  
  
"It is the consequence from the glass bottle, which Jayden hit me with. It's a hand tremor and I will take daily rehab sessions that contains several, different brain treatments to heal the tremor and get the control over my hand back." he answered.  
  
"Oh my god, this... this is awful. I am so sorry for you, but you're alive and this is what counts!" She pecked him on the cheek.  
  
"I missed you, Clairy." Alex voice was shaky and he tried not to cry.  
  
"I missed you too, Alex." she replied with a whimper and hugged him tight. They stayed in the hug for a few minutes.  
  
"Come on, I will introduce you to Josh." Alex said and he went upstairs with Claire, who followed Alex closely.  
  
"You look really messy by the way, so agitated. Anything happened?" Claire asked with a small chuckle.  
  
"W-what? No... nothing." Alex answered bewildered. He hoped Claire didn't think about the same he just did.  
  
Alex took Claire's hand and he opened the door to his room where Josh was already sitting on the bed and waited expectantly. Josh stood up quickly and gave Claire a small smile. He came to Alex' side and wrapped his right arm around Alex' waist.  
  
"Okay so, you both actually know each other already, maybe, I don't know, say hi to each other?" Alex awkwardly said and waited for them to introduce to each other.  
  
"It's nice to finally talk to my boyfriend's best friend." Josh said and shook her hand. "You really mean a lot to him."  
  
"It's nice to finally meet my best friend's boyfriend. I knew he already had a crush on you for a long time before he even noticed it by himself." Claire said and gave a wink to her best friend.  
  
" _Oookay_ , so this was strange enough. All in all, I already had enough weird talks today so why don't you just tell me about Jayden, Claire?" Alex slightly blushed, thinking about the previous dialogue with Josh.  
  
"Hun, what do you mean with weird talks?" Claire asked. She gave a look to Alex, whose cheeks were deeply pink and his hair was a mess in itself and then looked at Josh, who had a huge grin on his face and looked towards his boyfriend. Then it clicked. "Oh my god, you weren't really just about to sleep with each other, were you?"  
  
"What?! Noo!!" Alex answered a bit too quickly and yelped on his words. His face became even redder now.  
  
"Well, personally I wouldn't block it, but little lover boy here is a bit prudish." Josh chuckled and quickly slipped over to his boyfriend and gave him a kiss on his cheek.  
  
"Oh god. Well let your hormones be hormones, guys." Claire said as she sat down next to Alex.  
  
"Alright!" Josh said and Alex' expression gave him a huge laughter.  
  
"W-Wha- No!! We don't let hormones be hormones, n-nothing happened b-between me and Josh... I c-couldn't just yet!" And there it was. Alex said it out loud and everyone in the room had heard it. Alex felt extremely embarrassed and put the blanket over his head in shame. What would Josh think of him? He was such a fool.  
  
"Hey, hey, hey." Josh said calming. It seemed like Alex didn't get the jokes. He slowly put the covers off his shy boyfriend's head and placed a sweet, comforting kiss on Alex' burning cheeks. "Babe, I was just messing around. You know I love to see your adorable blushing. It's alright, you don't have to worry. We will take the time you need before we're doing anything." Josh said and he managed to calm the blonde down. He turned Alex' face towards him and stroked his right cheek with his palm.  
  
"I love you, Josh. Thanks for understanding." Alex totally forgot that Claire was still in the room.  
  
"I love you, too, cutie." Josh said and kissed the forehead of his lover.  
  
"Awwwww, how cliché!" Claire said and started laughing.  
  
"Hey, we're in a complicated, gay romance, what else would you expect?" Josh said but laughed as well.  
  
"Right, sorry!" Claire said ironically and then also Alex joined their laughing.  
  
When they all stopped chuckling, Claire finally brought up one of the points that brought her here. "Alex, I need to tell you something."  
  
"Spit it out." he replied and giggled as he slapped Josh's hand, which was crawling under Alex's sweater, away.  
  
"It's about Michael. It's not a nice thing, though." Claire began.  
  
"Michael?! What happened to him? Is everything alright??" Alex asked panicked and in Claire's eyes he could see that it had to be something that indeed wasn't good to talk about.  
  
"Michael... he moved. He even left America, he moved to Australia and he told me to tell you that he'll write you a letter soon and explain everything. He also wanted me to tell you that he loves you like a brother." Claire calmly said.  
  
"What?! How could he leave without saying a word to me? We were so close..." Alex replied and definitely didn't understand any of Claire's words.  
  
"Maybe he was afraid to say goodbye. Some people can't say goodbye." She explained.  
  
"But he did say goodbye to you, right? So why not to me?" He asked reproachful.  
  
"I-I don't know. I'm so sorry." Claire answered. She didn't really know what to say, she was just as clueless as Alex was.  
  
Alex shut his eyes for a moment and looked to his feet.  
He somehow tried to distract himself and think about Michael later, now he really wanted to know what's up with Jayden. He took a deep breath before he spoke again.  
"So, Claire. What's up with Jayden?" Alex carefully asked with a tired tone.  
  
"Oh, right. So... bad and good news. First of all, he is very probably going to jail and the trial is in a week, but the bad news are that he probably only gets six months of imprisonment and six months on probation. The sexual assault he did to you two years ago seems to doesn't count anymore. They said that he did it when Jayden himself was still a child so he could had only gotten into a youth prison, but it's too late for that now. They said it barred. They claim it as some kind of childish, naive action, which he wasn't aware of at his young age." Claire took a breah before she added her thought, that was hunting her mind all the time.  
"I am so sure Jayden's father bribed the bailiff so that the punishment will go weakest." Claire put her hand on Alex' shoulder and waited for a reaction.  
  
Alex couldn't believe what he just heard. Sure, he was more than relieved that this monster was going to jail but only for six months? Alex was afraid, more than afraid, he was really scared, because in a half year Jayden would already get free to take revenge on him.  
"I-I don't know what to say. They just claim the fucking rape as barred?" Alex eyes became glossy. "I was a child! I was only fourteen years old, how can they just let it ... expire?! It traumatized me for the rest of my teenage years and it definitely has effects on my relationship with Josh, how can they?? He will get out in a half year and than he will come back to h-hurt me again." Alex felt a burning anger in his throat and he couldn't hold the tears back anymore, some from frustration, some from rage, some from fear.  
  
Josh looped his strong arms around his crying boy and kissed his temple. "Shh. Let it all out, this fucker will get what he deserves. Sooner or later. I will help you with all my power. At least he can burn the fucking six months in the fucking jail now. Who knows, maybe he is going to fuck up with some other prisoners and this will extend his stay by a few months or years. Whatever, you are safe with me. I almost cracked him up once and let's be honest, no one expected that he would stand up again with that goddamn bottle." Josh pressed Alex tighter to his chest.  
  
Alex let all the tears flow. He didn't know he still had so many tears left in his body but they were flooding in streams.  
Memories from the penultimate night, the bullying, the rough incidents at school, the rape, Michael leaving him without saying goodbye and more awful thoughts crossed his mind.  
Now all came together to a huge mess.  
Josh always had this soothing voice that calmed Alex down, but nothing could stop the crying, even though Alex didn't want it.  
  
Claire knew she should let the boys alone and come back tomorrow.  
"Alex, I am so happy you've got someone to care for you. I will see you two tomorrow. Good night." Claire said. She squeezed Alex left hand and gave Josh a weak smile before she walked out of the room, went downstairs and left the house.  
  
As soon as they were alone again Josh pulled Alex into his lap and laid down so Alex was laying with his head, held by Josh's right hand, on his chest  
The brunette nonchalantly grabbed the blanket, which was laying next to them and put it over both, but made sure to completely cover his younger boyfriend.  
Meantime, the sun was set and the night was dark. Josh switched the light off from the table lamp and kissed Alex' forehead and temple a few times. He knew those were the spots that would help Alex to calm down.  
  
"My sweet, sweet, innocent boy. I am here for you. Let it all out, it's okay. You're with me." Josh held Alex really close and tight to his torso. He felt his shirt get warm and wet from Alex' tears still falling, but Josh didn't care, he only hoped his love would feel very better soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me if you liked the chapter! This one way longer than anyone before and I enjoyed writing the long dialogues!  
> I wanted to add more personal and private moments between the two boys, so they can both build up a real personality.  
> In the next chapter we will do a little jump into the future.
> 
> Suggestions, Improvements for the plot?


End file.
